The Past

It's Not A Secret, Why Do You Keep It?

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the wind blew too fast within five seconds my eyes all weary and all sleepy. I didn't like when the sky was dark, I mean the sun should still be there, the sun has not set yet. I saw like someone was about to cry, but I couldn't do anything. So watching the dark clouds moving and disappearing was slightly comfortable even I have to stay on the balcony, stay watching. Things isn't simple when it got too much. While ....I cursed too much after I watched skins, as if someone has agreed upon me and make swearing looks good. I still kept my behavior pretty. I didn't swear in front of the adults nor my friends that probably would mind if I swear. Although sometimes it slipped. My bad.
I don't drink nor smoke, but I go for swearing. It shouldn't be sound proud, it's just.... a confession.
I used to like this idea too much. I had it but I started to lose my senses where I should put my head in to. Confusing probably the closest word to explain things. When it came to him, I can't think. I can't judge. Shoot. No further details.

I thought I've wrote pages but it was barely a paragraph.
This day is lovely, I love when things are calm but still passionate, got what I mean?
The lights were pretty at night but the sky was plainly black looks dull, stars were really rare seen. (The story would be different when the stars were there and I saw them at the park as good as Central Park here, in Jakarta.)
And when the sun was up in the sky, I could feel something told me to get up and have fun.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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From What I've Heard, With Skin You'll Win

I had nothing to write.
Question: should I keep writing something even I don't have anything to write?
if yes, I guess mood ruined everything within a blink of an eye. Currently I can't find my inspiration. This week was incoherent, I slept almost sunrise, I skipped breakfast or other meal. I ate depends on my mood. Ergh.............
if no, thank you. you made it easier. I'm gonna go.








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listen to it. not me.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Written

I wrote like almost two pages of my sincere feelings, but then I found out something on my news feed. The flower suddenly wilt.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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See Those Restless Eyes

Maybe when the situation was very intense I could get my self begging for this site. Maybe because too much loads in my mind, I have to shared some in here where it willingly get depressed by reading my mourning. I have told you that I'm in a busy week. But maybe because of it, I would likely to spend my time here, giving my mind to catch a small break. I bought cd's to download but I constantly failed. Something is wrong with something but I couldn't careless my dear. It almost midnight but I couldn't find my sleep boat, it haven't arrived yet. Poor eyes. Speaking of eyes, I fixed my glasses this afternoon and now it became very clear, I mean, too clear, I had a thought that maybe the person who mend this, was mistakenly wrong putting back the lenses. I don't know. My eyes will adjust it I believe. At the place where I cleaned or fixed my glasses, I also I bought a tube dress which I couldn't wait to wear for this Wednesday. The pattern was lovely, I couldn't even stand to picture it. What plans I have on Wednesday is my friend seventeenth birthday party. Just like mine, she would have a pool side party. I miss party. includes all the photos that may be taken at the place. It would always fascinates me.
Somewhere over the edge, I asked, what about seventeen?
I wasn't discuss about my so called sweet seventeen on this blog, either because I don't think it was different than any other birthday or I just don't have the time to write here.
I just thought, seventeen was just a number, why seventeen? why not ten? or eleven? or twenty three? Here in Indonesia in the age of seventeen, they got a card which I assume the exact proof for being a legal citizen. And that's it.
What's the different having the card and not? nothing. Nothing specific I believe. Just consuming some empty space in my wallet.
I didn't mean to offend anyone. It's just a random thoughts. Maybe because my blood type is O, they tend to ask tons of questions, according to my friend's survey.
Set aside the seventeen thing, I have one week day-off from school. But it doesn't mean giving me a time to sleep and do whatever I want, which very unfair, I still have duties to be done for the next (less) than one month. I'm on it. I'm on it!
Isn't that life about? Rarely fair.
>>> example:Image and video hosting by TinyPic
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Blame On The Changes

It has been more than a week. More than a week I couldn't get my mind straight to post anything here. More than a week I had my bad hair day. Since I cut it off I wasn't fully on proud of it even though the pleasure was overwhelming for the first and second day. I thought those happens because I was not used to it. For several years, I have never have short hair or hair this short, if I may say, then I saw the mirror telling me the several years has changed now. I'm making changes. and I know, I am not the only one. I didn't have to mention though. I cursed too much this week. Endlessly in my mind. Tons of plans for coming up with the newest heaps in town were buried with all the ignorance.
I should have gone to bed. Resting my eyes after few hours wasted awake. but I was thirsted to see what this world served for today. This was one of the way I entertained my self between all the boring brick that stuck me in a routines. Sad, what a sad sentence.
I rarely touch the bed. I rarely at home. I rarely conscious. and I always cursing. Those wasn't healthy. The only healthy thing I did this week, was I stopped eating junk food. I avoid them even sometimes, when I was hungry I could taste the salty meat on my tongue. But hey, I survived.
I should sleep.


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I watched avatar for the third time. And you know what would come next. Another curse of curves.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Old Notes

the sun was shining as bright as the radiance of pure gold,
clouds were filling the sky and moved quite slow but just at the right tempo.
The color of nature seemed to blend as good as the colors on a Vincent van Goh painting.
Fit the few seconds that the earth moved after sunrise, a highly sophisticated mix of color stood out from the bliss.
Its the visual became clearer, this mix of color had a shape that seemed pulled itself together like a solar system attracting each other in a formation forming the figure of a beautiful being.
Another few seconds that the earth moved after sunrise, the visual parts of the being started to appear, the hair was long with small curves and had a wavy sense to it as the being moved. the eyes were black with the flecks of milk chocolate brown to it as the radiance of the sun shined through.
the being had a small body posture but was as perfect as a cold sundae on a hot day. the last few seconds that the earth moved after sunrise, everything seemed very clear and she was the center of my attraction. as I walked up to her and asked her name, the world seemed to stop just at that moment and everything became silent except for the sophisticated mix of color that formed a beautiful being, that turned into the perfect girl said, "Hi, I'm Fiya..."


this was made by a friend of mine, Centa, when I was randomly passing the hallway holding note book and a pen. He stopped me and borrowed, so then I left him, and got busy annoyed people. Look what he made, ain't this sweet? Don't get this wrong. This was just a doodling writing. Nothing personal included. and I think this was worth eyes for reading.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Look What I've Found

"The thoughts of him were overwhelming,
as days goes forward, it brought her to uneven certainty of falling in love with him.
Each days she spent with him would ended perfect.
He did not have to do anything to impressed her. The natural way he has, was more than enough to attracts her to his pole.
His senses appealing too much for her to strained.
His scent was founded everywhere.
This got to be it. She is in love.
"

guess who's the girl behind this all.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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With A Better Judgment

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It has been my random habit, every time I clicked new post sign, I would stare for around a minute and figure out what to type. There lies something in my hope, that this post might be worthwhile for some eyes out there that willing to read. Because yes, that would means a lot for me.
So several time I've been writing few sentences but I end up deleting it again, and started again from the beginning.
Man, I got nothing to tell.
No, I lied.
I must have something to tell.
My mind been talking too much recently. Minding things too much recently. That caused few pimples on my forehead. Even when I helped my grand mother curl up pieces of small papers for the lottery of regular family gathering in an hour to midnight, my mind still complicates me with the memories.
Fresh memories I just passed, warm memories of last year's, or sweet memories of January.
As I grew older, I get much time to realized situations or anything around me, although a little more responsibility were up on the ride. I have no idea where it came from. and yes, I can't complain. Because complaining won't do a thing.
I can't complain when the hair dresser cut my bangs too short like Dora the explorer. I can't complain when someone I really expected replied my long-and-all-from-heart-well-written-message by only saying "ok".
Obvious disappointments were clearly hidden there, but who cares.
And I gotta run. Saving my brain. I might write something longer soon.
Oh, almost forget, Welcome aboard dearest March.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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