After

We are all aware that life goes on and the world will not wait for anybody, any circumstances. Yet no matter how familiar we are with the term, it is still feel funny to see the person that used to mean the world for you, hold so little value in the life you are living now. The way you define the relationship lies somewhere between not quite a stranger but nothing more, maybe less, than a friend.

You notice this when you tried to tie up those two threads that loosen over lunch, but then you realised, it is not the same. The conversations that once burning like wildfire has gone. Now, chitchat is thought as heavy. It almost feels like you have to drag it all the way across the room just to keep it going. You realised both of you have grown out of each other and the only thing that tied you both is the past. And past, as Jonze once said, is just a story we tell ourselves.

A story that does not follow the changes along with you. Hence, it creates this sadness that rests softly on your shoulder, not because you have not let it go, but more to the sense where you were so used to associate the image of this person, the one who once altered your life in the least expected-yet-amazing way, to be almost perfect and when it feels somewhere less, you feel misplaced then wonder what happened. While if you look more carefully, you actually wanted this to happen.

The changes passed so gradually — in the sense, you were once too focused to forget, then when busy days started fill in your routines, it faded. You might not see it coming, but you wished this day to happen out of your consciousness. Remember that night, after everything fell apart? Maybe you were in your room, writing your heart out on a piece of paper, day after day but it never felt enough. Or that time, when you called your best friend to seek for comfort.

What is more that this is also the part where the past version of you secretly afraid to happen. To finally forget, to finally lose the meaning of this person that used to be the centre of your universe. Leaving you in awe, someone that meant so much to you back then can be so much less now than you could ever imagined. It feels funny, because this is the tipping point, the final phase before you whole-heartedly moved on, don't you think?