I cut my hair off. I used to keep it long, but I no longer interested. I cut it by myself, own my own, with my bare hands, and scissors. And I'll tell you something, it feels damn good.
I might thinking to cut it off even shorter....
Past Tense Required
I cut my hair off. I used to keep it long, but I no longer interested. I cut it by myself, own my own, with my bare hands, and scissors. And I'll tell you something, it feels damn good.
I might thinking to cut it off even shorter....
AFK
Feeling away.
Taking my self out of the radar.
You know,
Taking my self out of the radar.
You know,
just with my thoughts.
Without you, them or anyone else.
What We Had Was Unreal
the good thing being surrounded by crowds was the timing for not actually thinking what I have been thinking about lately. Some way it occupied me and prevents getting carried away with all the vulnerable emotions which oftenly descended on my days, uninvited. I have been out with my friends and yes, get lost where I did not see the one person that very mentally harmful for me. I went out and drinks along with the readings and exchange of thoughts, catching up things.
A book named to kill a mockingbird that I finally got in my hand, thanks to Mila. We kind of celebrate our late seventeenth birthday lunch.
and the other day I had semi-preparation for another upcoming phase in the future. A presentation. With my classmates, which I love, and went very well. Continued with half day out with the guys, and went as always pointless.
I prefer not to go with the details because I know people do not give a fcuk about how someone else's day went. and I would rather be writing thoughts that might go the same way like someone out there, the same perspective, or maybe gaining few valuable inputs.
I am blind for knowing my self owning habits having very sensitive feelings.
As I go deeper and caught out looking a love to substitute. No, wait, substitute would not be a proper words that went after love. Take it this way, getting involved with feelings makes me wanting things too much, missing too much, expecting too much, hoping too much. but pain builds me tougher. I might got shocked to welcome new things in life, and then I forgot where do I stand, which believe, insane. So today, I know one: he makes me forget what is real and not.
and hell, it was wrong.
A book named to kill a mockingbird that I finally got in my hand, thanks to Mila. We kind of celebrate our late seventeenth birthday lunch.
and the other day I had semi-preparation for another upcoming phase in the future. A presentation. With my classmates, which I love, and went very well. Continued with half day out with the guys, and went as always pointless.
I prefer not to go with the details because I know people do not give a fcuk about how someone else's day went. and I would rather be writing thoughts that might go the same way like someone out there, the same perspective, or maybe gaining few valuable inputs.
I am blind for knowing my self owning habits having very sensitive feelings.
As I go deeper and caught out looking a love to substitute. No, wait, substitute would not be a proper words that went after love. Take it this way, getting involved with feelings makes me wanting things too much, missing too much, expecting too much, hoping too much. but pain builds me tougher. I might got shocked to welcome new things in life, and then I forgot where do I stand, which believe, insane. So today, I know one: he makes me forget what is real and not.
and hell, it was wrong.
Frozen.
This is what happened, I've been thinking what would I write here. Not a nasty poem or a filthy love letter, okay, probably tend to one of those but no, no no. I've been thinking of it all over. all around. when I go to bed, before closing my eyes, or when I checked my phone was there any notification or so. but, BUT, when I came here I lost.
The imagination that I had in mind would not be enough to translated in to chain of words, expected to compete the essence.
Having the thought of him was somehow delicately soothing.
and it sounded like a complete bullshit. Man, sometimes I wish it was.
Truth oftenly recorded as a bullshit. Just uncommon statement that general population repel.
The story that I am in, to develop, was technically strange. Nothing much to describe because nothing much happened. But the joy being in the simplicity is over the top.
Tortures but sweet. slightly hard to accept but happening. Very random, but stupid to go against it.
A day would be sour without his lines.
I'm lost for what's happening currently.
The imagination that I had in mind would not be enough to translated in to chain of words, expected to compete the essence.
Having the thought of him was somehow delicately soothing.
and it sounded like a complete bullshit. Man, sometimes I wish it was.
Truth oftenly recorded as a bullshit. Just uncommon statement that general population repel.
The story that I am in, to develop, was technically strange. Nothing much to describe because nothing much happened. But the joy being in the simplicity is over the top.
Tortures but sweet. slightly hard to accept but happening. Very random, but stupid to go against it.
A day would be sour without his lines.
I'm lost for what's happening currently.
The More I Think, The More I Wish
The way the sun creeping behind those sophisticated buildings hurt my eyes. I dare my self by staring at it, foolishly. Sometimes I imagine that sky was one, all in together just like the sky that someone’s might have there somewhere on the other part of the world. I’m starting to have my normality back on my grip, including my bed time, although my eyes haven’t fully compromise with my daily kit to prevent any boring repetition. There was no secret behind the proverb “Routines are boring” it happens to every human being and creating this selfish unlimited wants/never entirely satisfied. Raise your hand if you are one of those. Thank you. I tried so hard to prevent any ‘lame’ routines, when something has become one of your routines it could strangle you and starting to have the subjection out of it, what a waste. Staring when would the minute changed and counting seconds that might just took longer than sixty times beats.
Sarcasm and explicit explanation were strangely entertaining for me, sometimes when I say ‘hate’ it means I can’t help it anymore. And when I say ‘lame’ it might means super cool but I hate to have the urge of feeling it. You know, girls. My bad though.
Things are bad, when you see it bad. It wouldn’t be that bad if you see it right,
But intricate with my own feeling is the hardest part of determination.
I could make 10 minutes speech of telling people how to deal with their problems but I could not make five minutes for mine. It was funny to live very random.
Accidentally seeing someone without any intention was funny, especially when I look back and remember how cruel the first impression. Taking a quote from someone,
“It takes love to kill love”
Dammit. Wish I knew it earlier.
If everything happens for a reason,
I want to know the reason now.
Day two
Oftenly people blame themselves for having certain personality that trapped them in a situation where cursing is the best way exposing a relief. The air suffocates your lungs and feels like its choking out of no where. Something disturbing the presence of reality.
Most of the post here are about how shit my day went, but it was not actually. I'm just having this frenzy begins when I write either being left out or in love. Those two were top of my favourite topics.
When I started to feel something, like literally anything. It could haunted me for the next 24hours or even weeks. And I came with obscure pointless promise that testing my guts for staying on the right track. So for me, it would be so much easier not being alarmed my self for a significant feeling in such a situation than knowing it's existence and curled up with above the line expectation.
Most of the post here are about how shit my day went, but it was not actually. I'm just having this frenzy begins when I write either being left out or in love. Those two were top of my favourite topics.
When I started to feel something, like literally anything. It could haunted me for the next 24hours or even weeks. And I came with obscure pointless promise that testing my guts for staying on the right track. So for me, it would be so much easier not being alarmed my self for a significant feeling in such a situation than knowing it's existence and curled up with above the line expectation.
Before Sunrise and Sunset.
We were talking how people met. In thousands of random situation that instantly pulled a man a woman in to one moment together. Probably you were on the train, after received such a bad luck shit and all in the sudden you randomly talked to someone and ended up spending all day tasting such an adventure together and involves to a very initially deep conversation. And the conversation bond a decent feeling for believing anti-gravity such thing, like falling in love. Unbearable feeling that your heart can’t hardly contains.
I gathered a conclusion, sometimes people keep their feeling safe inside their heart, because the facts told them to. All the consideration for what might be happening in the future. Like distance for example, distance draw the line of separation.
“What if I’m telling you now, but I know you have to go somewhere far soon enough?” that kind of consideration. See?
It took nothing to begin being in love. But as soon you realized you are in love, it took life to worth a second, every smiles and pain. Unlike money, the durability for falling is undefined. Within a week you could falling head over heels to someone, a week, a day, or even one stand conversation. Voila, you are in love. Or at least, in like. Things happened above the line your normal sense, then you would come up with millions of why, followed with countless question marks all over your head. There it went, beyond limitation of expectations waiting in line, makes you worried sick and very vulnerable.
“I like you. Why?”
“I want your text. Why?”
“You attract me. Why?”
"I care, why?"
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