Simpler Than Arts

I had this major issue with my mind, since I was practically rely on it whenever I was trying to think. You know, there were few times that you need to think without getting influenced by anything. Including your other thoughts living side to side with your mind. That was why I had trouble for just simply update a blog. Aside from the mind, I also secretly had the (manipulative) perfectionist attitude; not to mention the high standard. Which somehow acting like charming man -- always got me.

I wanted this paragraph to be right. But somehow I, for myself, got twisted finding for the definition itself. Either I kept this on the draft which going to be junk forever always or I gave up writing. To be honest, I dislike the second option but gravity seemed on its side so I did it several times. I felt awful when I gave up writing. In any form. It felt like I just cheated on a math test or even my boyfriend. Or some sort of. You should know what I meant by now. Maybe because I had this relationship with writing that I never wanted to lose. So I forced myself, to the beat, for making any of this right.

The lack of ideas strangle me too during the daylight after I woke up from the dream world with Jack Barakat or Damon Salvatore. I actually had the idea in mind, but my finger just could not seem to pull it together. Due to the unfitted words every time I began to write. Because when it was wrong, you could just feel it. There, I ended up with nothing. Good old nothing. The best enemy of all time. Maybe the proverb about getting to know your enemy well may come out true. Or not. Nothing is a jerk. The worst jerk.

I have always wanted to be the hero among those jerks. Among everything. The hero of the heroes. Doing something good for others. As simple as that. Simpler than arts. Just that casual point that I would also like to plants inside this post. Inside every post or any of my writings in fact. The statistic shows that almost 57% people never cares about anything else beside themselves. So I know, there are a wide chance of you does not gives a shit on this. But I am writing it anyway.

Oh, and I just had this small operation to my keyboard. The 'G' currently having a complication for these past months. I did once type "my keyboard sucks" here a little while ago and I delete that one out because again, it just felt bad pointing out my horrible personal judgement. I sounded like a pity-full teenage drama queen.

I apologies if you expect all the above paragraphs should make any sense because... I don't think it sounds like so.

After all, through several failure attempts, here it goes. I made it through the PUBLISH NOW button. Suck it, sleepless soul! I sincerely hope this post helps you in some way. xx

"No matter how much I wanted to be alone, somehow secretly I wish for someone would say hi and engage me to a conversation which makes me forget the truth that I wanted to be alone.

No matter how much I enjoy doing nothing, I would like someone to call me and ask for a cup of coffee."