We're Caught Up In The Crossfire of Heaven and Hell

In a room of sixteen degree Celsius, my phone was abandoned, those papers were untouched, and those pictures were calling the memories that never fades till forever. Those brochures solemnly swear that they up for good but I stood silent. Clothes that has been hanging behind my door room looks tired, as if the hanger needs a ten minutes break. But they were not on the base ball field. They were in my room where things looks okay. Or things were okay. Oh wait, things are okay. Where procrastinating were highly praised. Where I lies, with the entire memories that stays. Of you, of him, of them. Where I got stuck on writers block and heading no way with dozens of unfinished pages.

Where I left my worries to the ceiling as I rest my head upon the pillow and closed my eyes. With my watch beside me, always reminds me to stay alert with the early sun that should have been my natural alarm. Colorful markers written on the wall, alongside the calendars of un/fortunates events. I circled the date and wrote what happened. That way I remembered exactly when the airplane left the ground. I remember the bruises on my knee when the first time I tried to conquer someone's abrupt skateboard. I remember the darkest night holding up tears at the edge of my eyelids. And the days where I felt perfect under the last days of summer weather eating fish and chips directly from where it came from.

My recent days were haunted by questions that leads to fear due to the valid vulnerability. The questionable fear of failing. Fear that I shouldn't have. Those shakes and swears medication that I took to make these thoughts go away seemingly corrupted.

Cause I couldn't list things inside my head while it still countable.

Songs of words dancing through my ears and soothe me for a while. A while until it ends. Leave me to the feeling of missing someone too much. Feeling that I tightly kept between these paragraphs. Feeling that I shouldn't carry when I was out there, representing me.

Oh dear lord. The night was warm enough to go swimming but I resist. The stars were friendly enough to sing me lullaby and brought me to sleep but I didn't care.