I have visitor’s coming, they’ve been go to yours too, I believe. I can taste sickness in my tongue, Day before I got worst, Pharmacy’s scent was unbearable. My nose filled with sneeze and friends. No, it means not good. My mood still moves like roller coaster Once, I was eagerly wants to write, in a matter of seconds, there are few cells that interrupt and caused damaging my wants. Right now, my eyes slowly pleading for rest, Even though, I just wake up from my sleep couple minutes ago. Human being is partially weird. They asked for something, but when they got it, they suddenly wanted to take back their words. O goody, O lord. What a universe. Would everything be the same if we live in Saturn? Could moon still shine at nights? If there is no moon, could we still see stars? What if the moon fell in love with the sun? Would the sky turn golden? Or stars jealous? Were these questions the side effect from the pills that I just took? I refuse to use common phrase. So, what are the other words for ‘I don’t have any idea’ Well, maybe I had an idea, by translate it to Persian? Back to the top, I feel like a walking skull. Well, we all are. But I feel too thin. That is not right.
Life note / Feb 18th
I asked my friend, one essential question, what is the reason to live? once I feel like rotten marshmellow slowly melted by the fire. She mentioned few of my world, my beloved universe. Why when the devil whispered, I cant see my beloved universe? The cloud was too crowded clunging my view, and here goes the heave rain.. Every second, I should've know that it's getting closer to see the rainbow, but why my stuborn human feeling refuse to wait and slightly thinks to get drowned forever in cloudy wet rain? I shall keep those in mind, My beloved universe.
Does this world applies seriousness too hard? Or does my skill politeness just too low? or am I so immature? why there are so many questions remain unsolved? Does all the wrong belongs to me? Favourless yet undiscovered. me. Oh so me. I need thousands acre empty field and bright day, I would like to scream from the top of my lungs, Who am I? What I mean to this world? To whom I should dedicate these questions? was this only a moment motions? oh lord, how should I know, how how, mighty how. something wrong with me?
Here goes my valentines, after I wrote my blog yesterday, one by one, my dates arrived :D it's Wayda, Eleny, Nisna, Emil, Zara, and Aninda. those my 6 lovely dwarfs. my best classmates. my mighty valentines dates. I actually not celebrating Valentines in any way, but, we thought that this is the right moment for hang out. besides, it's saturday night! we went to setiabudi buildings, for having dinner, we chose chatterbox, just random. we did that mostly girls does. you all know, for sure a hundreds of pictures was taken. because Aninda still roaring for sushi, we went to shushi groove. next, because Wayda and Nisna wants coffee, (actually I do too, but I'm kind a running out of money) so we acompanny them to most famous coffeeshop in dictionary, yes, Starbucks. but sadly, Emil had to go home because Idontknowwhy. enough for the touring, we decided to go back to my apartment. take 10minutes break. continue tooooooooooo.... the playground! we took pictures, play uno, and tried to fire up the fireworks but unfortunately, it wont work. I guess Aninda bought the cheap-unqualify-fireworks. but we still had fun. Oh, and the fun part is I met new friends, my neighbour precisely. they're from Bangladesh. How cool? they're 12 years old. and good looking. and nice. I learn how to speak persian. oh double awesomeness! their name is Weiz and Sam. hello to both of youu! so yeah, that's about my VD! Shooooooooooott. I have to go, duty calls
Oh, there is no devil words could explain how jealous to you all everyone who already met mcfly, my favourite best ultimate awesome band ever. even I am not that often mention mcfly, it might be more deeper my love for them. in every picture I saw, my heart was burning like stove. burning like hot day with 1000 sun. I'd (might) do anything for them, for MEETING THEM. Oh please, I'm in love love love. you probably thinking why all the sudden I wrote all this. Because, I saw picture of them in JAPAN for plane's sake. it was tooooooo late to told my dad, I was planning on to tell my parents! I was just 1 week late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well, now I have plan with my 6 dwarfs, spending all night long. Oh hold on, my dates for this valentines day already arrived! byeo
Hey, I'm reading breaking dawn but I'm too afraid to end it. So, I clearly confused what I should do. beside, Jacobs voice humming in my head. Oh, this afternoon is very bright. I'm glad. I never thinks bright when I was at school, afternoon seems so dull. wait, dull is not the right word, seems so, static. enegery that I had must be taken right from the source. leave thirsty and hungry and powerless but not motionless. Hey, motionless is a nice word! I'm sort of sweating, hot. I'm slurring flu anyway, not good. Bad, Bad. yes, mister? My throat is like newborn vampires needs blood, it's not burning but hurt. yes, hurt. especially at night, it's torchure your sleep. I woke in the middle of the dark, but I saw moon and told me to get back to sleep. how polite. The nights before, I was looking for moon but I can't find it. last night, without permission, I did. Oh yes, you should see when real meaning for twilight in vocabulary, comes from my apartemen, it's so fascinating. twilight seems hiding behind the buliding and clouds still wont call it draw.
I was absent for today. ill was not the best condition of all time. I am so relief that I had one day closure. My fingers are continously pushing the alphabets. nice job, fings! Oh, what I just called my fingers? eww. I'm currently writing something that I started with my mates like 2 years ago. or almost 3 years ago, I'm eager to finished it, with Haylie singing decode fluently from my laptop. also my twilight thoughts dancing around my mind, teaching me how to arrange the words. once I started, I almost can't stop it. in between. Oh, theres an ant on my keyboard. shoo shooo go away well, I'll write again soon, I feel I need shower
I have sore throat right now, what is going on with the gravity? My eyes were soaring for sleep and my body eager for some lie-down. Oh my dearest bed, how are you? Does Einstein have enough sleep while he was figuring out what e m c square is? Oh right, maybe I’m on my transition to be a vampire, I just realized that vampire doesn’t sleep. At all. Probably my body was fighting with the venom after all. Forks, WA Forecast for today is light rain. That’s my geography task. Why I chose Forks, it was so obvious, First thing on my mind anyway. I’d rather talk about what’s on my mind now, than talks about what am I doing yesterday, or the day before, I don’t think someone would like know. So, yeah, my classmates are incredible. Edward Cullen still clouding up my mind I have doubts that sometimes bother me a lot. I missed my laptop if one day I did not use it. I don’t know what I should write; I just want to sleep now, I should find another word beside sleep, I’m using it too often. Sleep Sleep Sleep Z I’m exhausted. Cold, I wonder why, Edward is not here yet. and Jacob came to my mind in a second. Night all.
I feel so much like my parents in some way, so I dont think I should bother being with this imperfectness. Oh bloody sunday, I read my old message in my previous phone, it was around 3 years ago. in range Senior year in Elementary school - First year of Junior High. I giggle a bit. It comes up with feelings that I missed, I used to love, and I used to felt. Stupid loves, How’s things rotate was and now, were so much different. There is a phase that I really realized that we’re growing up. I MISS MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FOLKS. Each every moment I spent back in the days, suddenly played back in my head.
I went to Andra's house today, I felt like it has been centuries I havent got there. and it also remind me to my junior high times, which is I missed the most. We had photobooth with her laptop, I felt like I forget there is tomorrow, going back to school, and replay the routinity. some I like, some I avoid. oftenly I blame myself for everything sometimes I was being too much but sometimes I just too living the moment and forget about everything, I am not perfect probably far from perfect.
Why am I so afraid? I found it hard to search the reasonable excuses. why, why afraid?
Oh, how is Edward? is he okay? this twilight saga is almost driving my head all the way around, the story always got me deep somewhere. even you read it through eyes, but your heart also can feel it. oh holly Edward Cullen, as if those were true. anyway, adi get well soon okaaaay
There are a lot of things in my head right now, I am grateful that got home before 6. I feel I still have a chance to write, The tension in school, specially the new organization I’ve join with recently, require steel-mental, which build me more tough. It also took most of my minutes. By the time I should speak, my lips won’t pursue what I actually should do. Sometimes it’s just like fully sealed. At certain point, my careless was out of limit. I just want to feel what I exactly want; don’t care no matter how the circumstances are, those pretty ruin my entire mood. Get me thinking, how easy to be hate, while you have to survive to protect your kindness, even though you mean it. People found things different way. Call me selfish.
Let me see future-job that I love
1. Something has to do with Writing – first thing on my mind anyway
2. Fashion Designer --- I am dying to do this, it pictures fun.
3. Being in a band. Entertainer.
Oh, and the last I love the most
4. Married and happily ever after with Dougie Poynter :D
5. being vegetarian Vampire, helping Volturi probably
Oh yes, remind me about the chemistry practical, I want to share you all but not now, and… what else… Oh the internet sways me too much. I should end this; I’ll talk to you soon?
somethings been clouding up my mind, my word is hiding somewhere, was it going to be rain?probably I havent bite any rice or food tonight, yesterday I was posting a blog, BUT the connection cut if off by itself. I guess I cant make it comeback, so, leave it to god. Now, I'm not going to write much, I wanted to, but I can't.