The Past

Don't Panic, It's Just Vegetable.

There is something very popular among teenagers in Indonesia nowadays, specially in Jakarta. It is something called "galau". I have tried to search it on google translate what is galau in English, it is pretty much similar with hubbub.
Very often people would call you such if you are being quiet, staring to the empty space without seemingly thinking. Hubbub most likely caused by the rough lane of romance. Whether you are in a broken heart phase or currently in trouble relating to the fellow crush. Although, hubbub is not limited only for things that related with heart (ew) just most of the statistic based on my private observation tells almost 97,5% technically tied with love (double ew). In broad definition, it is the situation where you have something in mind and directly/indirectly you show it to the public eyes. Within my conscious, galau is something that you hardly avoid. It can happen anywhere and anytime. And this is why it can be slightly dangerous; it may affect the society a huge pain in the ass. Everyone, who technically cares about you, will ask the same old question, "Are you okay?" "What happened?" and the easiest answer would be, "No, I'm okay." "Nothing happened." while deep down on both sides, each would say "What the @#$%. You're lying" "@#$% you, Can't you see I am not @#$%ing okay?!"
Shit as it sound, I have been on both sides. In the time when I am being the suspect, I do not want to hear any of my friends advice nor cheer. I just want to be in the valley of sobs and tears, there remembering the memories I can't repeat. Then when I slightly recovered, an hour or few days later, it is time for my friend that going through the valley, I was like cheering them as if I was the best cheerleader ever but they just won't listen. It pisses me off because I do not want to see my friend all sad and broken. but again, the cycle has to continue.
So far, there is no drugstore in the entire world sold the anti-galau medicine. It is still currently, cure-less. All we can do is wait and cope and endure.

Do me a favor, when you are hubbub, please remember to get up and go to the highest peak of the mountain and touch the sky or sun if you like, soon enough. Don't stay where you are before too long. It's depressing.

Chillax, I'm going to use it on myself. I'll try. Good luck for all of those teenagers out there! May god bless you and keep you out of galauness. xx
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A piece by : Fiya Muiz

We Can Live Like Jack and Sally, If We Want.

It's funny how things changed and I barely remember when and how it happened. It's funny I can't even laugh.
Just like the wasted ashes from the burnt cigarette, I flew separately, to the different place I could not recall how I ended up here. I might make a list called 3W or "What Went Wrong" list. I can go on and on questioning why I stopped talking with the people I usually talked with for hours, everyday, before the sunrise or during the happy hour. Then again, why I quit updating my fashion blog and my facebook updates with pictures. If there is one thing that's not changing, it must be the growing habit of me, inconsistently failing on keeping this blog update.
For some people, the method on blaming something or someone may decrease the grief that suffocate the brain to stay in good sense. But on this case, there is nothing to point a finger to. In the most rational way of thinking, I have to admit the existence of nature's law, where things just happens as it is. Maybe at the point where it changed, I was too busy concentrating not to be drown inside the pool of disappointment then I got carried away and I started to claim things okay which in the same time I was trying to build the new foundation of something that had been broken. You know, the new routine. Aside from the loss of the previous missing details. Because when one's out, I just automatically got out from the circle and try to make a new one.
Then people just have deal with it. Though I am truly missing the moment I used to had with whoever I have been close in every way, I just have to deal what's in front of me now. Still, it is not like everything changed. There are things that are meant to stay. Like you, maybe. Reading this somewhere only you know.

This week recommendation would be Yellowcard's new album called When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes.
Among the preview songs on youtube, this goes my favorite, Hang You Up. Buy their CD or else you'd be hanging under the palm tree of regret. Cheerios

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz

It's Much More Than It Seems.

It feels good just to sit here and wander off between photos on facebook. The siren for reading formulas on the book is temporarily turned off during the weekend. The exam will continue on Monday. Roughly I have at least two days to let my muscle brain off duty. Earlier today during my exam, I had thirty minutes spare time before I have to submit my work, I chose not to sleep and I decided to write. I was not allowed to bring any paper, so I wrote between the question on the question sheet.
Yesterday, on random occurrence, I sat beside a friend of mine. We talked. But then she started to talk about someone who I have not seen for a while but never left my mind. Honestly, I would like to take every possible chances to avoid such a topic but it was too late to invade further discussion. In anyway, somehow I have no right to fear anything related to this person. It has been a very lot while ago. So yes, I have heard he's happy due to an obvious form of progress of something from someone. Well, while here, the situation did not change though before or after these couple of months. I like that person, and that person like somebody else. Yes, I get that clearly. But there was a part of me that withered every time I got remembered. That is why I hate being remembered. It pushed me to where I asked myself, "What should I do to make him changed his mind?"
I know it sounded sad and desperate. It sounded even more awful when sad and desperate put in one line. They should have not be together. What worse than that was, I know the situation and I still helplessly stay silent, not even an inch of moving forward or anywhere. I can't and I just won't.
And somehow, every time I have tried to look around, I'm just too afraid, afraid that what had happen, or happening is going to end up in repetition.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz

It's Nothing but Too Little to Miss.

if there is one video that could make me stay up all night and write, this would be the one:

I found this video a couple hours ago, and I just could not left this laptop alone although I have to wake up very early tomorrow and my eyes were getting weary as the hours brought me somewhere nearly midnight. I could not find the sensible ideas why the voice I have heard through the web based visual audio able to attract me in such a way. In a way where common hands and thoughts were not able to reach.
While motivation books bores me (sometimes) this person so far have not failed to inspire me doing anything related to words. I just need to repeat three or five times then I am armored. After I watched the video, I came up with a page full of scenario for the upcoming future play.
If John Mayer asks, "Why, Georgia, Why" I'd ask, "Why, Dika, Why"

A piece by : Fiya Muiz

Can't Stop. Won't Stop.

I must have mentioned Dougie earlier. He was the one who indirectly shoved me into the bass. With the minimum capability of playing well, Doug pushed me to be on the bass. There I am still currently taking over the bass in my over-awesomeness band. I heard the news he was entering the rehab due to the tough break up with this almost a year girlfriend. I never thought in my life would ever heard someone like Dougie entered a rehab. This phase must be hard for him and I feel bad for not being around. You know, it's an undeniable para-social feeling. And Mcfly also played a role for my sincerely deep unconscious feeling towards the United Kingdom.
My para-social relationship did not end there. There were several guys from the band who captivate me by their own uniqueness. I have got to tell you, band members are hard to resist - especially their hazardous charm. Oliver Sykes, lead singer from Bring Me The Horizon, was an arse. Oli once inspired me to write 97 pages hand written story involving his characters when I was on my third year in Junior High. The only person who still shine with tattoos all over his body.
He came by to Jakarta last week, but I did not have the chance to meet him in person. Feeling that I had for him was temporarily buried but as soon I saw his video in my hometown, things were scratching back to the surface for another round. I miss him.
Oh, and not to mention he is British.
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A piece by : Fiya Muiz

March On

Hi, I shall welcome March before entering the informal prologue.
To be honest I did not like changes.
Remember my five-week IELTS course? It already finished. Those five weeks routines had to go down to history along with the title of the first course I enjoyed the most - I'd willing to come five days a week without wanting to missed it even for a day. This was different than any other courses that I had been or currently attending. There were doubts here and there and the humongous feeling to stay at home rather than anything if it was not IELTS prep class. This, just different. And I liked it. And I have to let come to an end.
Another case, my approximately ten years transportation-assistant who drove me around to school and back home had to resign. He had been part of the family; the little thing that matters a lot on my daily routines. There, I had to let it go for the more compromising future.
After those changes occur, I am forced to squeeze myself into the new one. I know that is how life goes but that just not coming any closer to my favorite list. I noticed, instead of being less emotional on my 18th year of my life, I think I tend to be more emotional lately.

Ugh, that last line sounded like I admitted a defeat. Anyhow, I am excusing myself for my lack of update these time around. I have few things running down the list for the upcoming freedom. So, I am going to take care these things first then I'll come to you. Saying hi. I hope I will bring good news. Cheers, xx.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz