Those questions I collect didn't leave without answers. Slowly but sure days had given me answer through any kind of messenger. Most of them were people that strangely I constantly met on weekdays. Older people who, maybe, had been through the phase where my questions lies and a good friend of mine that almost lost on my contact list, who has almost as wise as the the adults.
I watched few movies that nudged me about coincidence, destiny and things. and when I mean things, I meant the word that too sacred to be mentioned, nonetheless very... cheesy.
"Destiny can't build alone. You still need to show up, you still have to build the bridge, a bridge to someone you love."
I guess I've got seriously serious issues.
one day my English teacher told me to write a paragraph of my worst story. I ended up scrolling the innocent paper with few times barbarian scratch and keep brain storming what would I write. I wasn't the typical person that remember anything that related to disappointment - including anything worse. But then after forty five minutes doing nothing and one simple entrance, I came up with this:
My Worst Story
I felt worst when I came up to the sober point when I admit myself that I was in love.
The idea of love itself would changed by the time going, maybe when we all grown up soon, love would looked better than today.
When I was eight, maybe I thought love was when a boy shared his lunch with me.
When I was thirteen or fourteen, I thought love was a happy feeling that wrapped me when the person was around.
But I realized things as I got here, my perspective developed into something new,
love was something more than that.
I felt worst when I was in love with someone – the feeling of not wanting time to end or even for the clock to ticks a second forward, hoping it could last forever, in that moment. The feeling of unbearable subjection, or had been trying to resist the charm over and over again.
Those things compiled to one, and became the worst.
I suppose, that was my worst story,
and I didn’t even bother to try to get rid of it.