The Past

Nothing Better for the Title

He bite his nail, he stroked his messy yet attractive dark hair, wipe his face with a tissue when I noticed his irritated eyes. He looks even more good from side.
Last night I doubt a matter in particular reason, I kept asking, my emotion labile, and nothing seems rotate in a right way.
But I know one thing,
I could not ever ever ever denied that smile.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

I Get a Light From Everyone

prologue: I am back. back to daily life. back doing school routine. back on weekend. back being a nonsense teenager. I am exhausted.
I suffered runny nose, sore throat and a ordinary lazy-to-move-around virus. I am quite surprise I made here to write a blog.
I have been missing to a wonderful journey.
I saw plenty of new things, things that rare to see in over populated city.
Living in capital city are a complete blind.
it makes you could not see all the imperfection of reality. You always wants more. Wants something way beyond unnecessary.

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This is where my grand parents came from, so it might count as my home town.
Few families still stays here.
Madura is still under construction, few failed factory, no mall, just a small mini market.
When I went there, it was hard to find any sign of human activity, it was plain desolate.
Though the clouds always been pretty, beach is awesome, padi fields are everywhere, foods are tempting. but unfortunately my stomach could not handle the santan, so I got diarrhea on the very second day.

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I enjoyed this city. the people are funny. I laughed a lot, really. their appearance were 'that' much. and probably it was the first time I went to mall with pair of flip flops. fashion crime woops.

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I did not get the chance to take a picture with my own camera at this place, maybe because my brain was frozen, so I couldnt think to use my camera. it was single degree temperature!
but this place is wicked, I saw blazing gorgeous sunrise, with hell of struggle. I went to a dessert, but it still cold no matter how. I used 5 layer of clothes. <3

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I love jogja. I'm just in love with the becak, Malioboro's stuff, bakpia.

I am running out of words to describe this trip, travels in a bus for more than a week. it was rad!
I love it I love it I love it more!
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

The Guy With The Arab Strap

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ergh too many voices here. this might end up to be a lousy post., hello there the angel from my nightmare, the shadow in the background of a morgue. whoops sorry.
I had fun this week and so freaking pumped for taking my ass off Jakarta. I'll be leaving town in... two more days. and will be back in... another ten days. see you soon peeps.
School's off for two or three weeks and it was fabulous, nothing more excited about school beside the holly holiday, am I right?
I spent most of my days recently outside the house, I took tons of pictures this week. one, I went to twestifal randomly. two, I went for bowling with my superb schoolmates, randomly. and it was heck of fun. my bowling game was not so bad at all, I got 4th rank. out of six. :p
three, I took a ride on a motorcycle with to them who called them selves sinargarut ROFL (i know you may laughs. they're insane but awesome) there were thirteen of us, but some was absent. the wind & crowd were cool. and so the evening was.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz




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These are my elementary school folks, I have been with them for six years since 1999-2005. Since then we went separate ways, and last Thursday finally we had our small reunion which was trully awesome.
I miss them so much, and did not have any slightest idea it would be so much heaps.
Every childish memories we have been through were suddenly played back and we were screaming those were the best moments ever. Lots of laughs for sure. and stupid love stories were up on the surface, ex crush, teachers, enemy, ex bff, everything was there. and it was so sweet.
Elementary school was not daring like high school, but all the basic understanding to socialize, knowing things. first phase school. Stupid reactions nor action filled up.
Now we all grown up, well, almost counts as adults, and such a bless to remember fast times at ar-rahman motik:)
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

When Everything's Made To Be Broken

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for me, every holiday has a soundtrack. And I was so stoked for this ramadhan holiday. not quite where I am going to spend, but it closely enough to certitude.
grown ups should understand how complicated teenagers era like.
Living are included in impartial choosing. I was hang in the middle, because there was no such easy way to fully understood the circumstances. I have always tried to be in someone else's shoes, but it only gets me another view to make sense. Technically this case still able to handle by one head, but somehow human has this subjection to others advise. I wont be selfish, but when too many choices lie ahead, it might ended up, the selfishness it self. I know, I know, this has no point. Somehow it just coming back to back, but hey sometimes that's how life works.
one line got involved with thousands of other lines, then suddenly it got twisted to no where. Personal wants need to be diminished for a while, and living very social.
Mistakes somehow happened on purpose, though heart beat pounds frankly. The sour taste of orange juice suddenly lost it freshness. Now, tell me what should I do?
Responsibility stand when you are mature enough, but ignorance is blisssssssssssssssss. Weird.

ps: about the picture, you might have seen him somewhere around. His name is Douglas, but just call him Dougie for good. He's blessly british. and I miss him a lot. Through it all, he has been my all time lover. he's the right weirdo but undearably charming. since the first sight on him, he has grown up a lot, and it was wonderful. Just curious when god will let him meet me face to face.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

Remembering Sunday

It does not mean that I hate how my life goes now,
but I just have this hidden deep envy for all the bands touring life.
be on the road, with band members and crew. That's how life be more enchanted and adventurous, you know. Tasting new food, new vibe in each different city nor countries. those are very temptatious!
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A piece by : Fiya Muiz

Your Nickname Secretly Included Inside This Post

Maybe we met in the wrong time. Maybe we did something wrong in our past. Maybe since the first place, I should have not known you this far. Maybe I should quit since I presume. Maybe you are right. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe we missed understood. Maybe you think of me too. Maybe you are just a helpless loser. Maybe I hang my hopes too high. Maybe those stupid little cigarettes were fit on you. Maybe beer and alcohol were made for you. Maybe none of good things related with you and me. Maybe you made the best mistake for treat me too nice. Maybe I should not feel safe when I think of you. Maybe all the smiles I have spent does not worth a penny. Maybe the first hand shake was cursed. Maybe your blood has something to do with this. Maybe I should blame cupid. Maybe these butterfly suppose not to be here. Maybe these lovebirds got the wrong address. Maybe our age. Maybe your ex. Maybe your friends. Maybe your mind. Maybe my phone. Maybe because I currently still in high school. Maybe because I am small. Maybe the bass. Maybe the guitar. Maybe those foolish poems I should not dedicate it to you. Maybe I should erase your name on my contacts. Maybe my heart beat was biologically abnormal when I was about to meet you. Maybe your words that choked me up. Maybe those love songs are rubbish. Maybe I should not dare to assume that I am in love with you.

Just tell me do not give up. Stop giving me signals and other puzzle need to be solved, I want something clear.
I have been trying to stay out of you, but gravity keep pulling me towards your eyes. Hell I do not care if things got too obvious. Once in school I had thoughts of you which I could not resist. You should not make me feel better when I am at my worst. You just you rolling my mood in every direction. You do not know how scared I was for admitting anything further, you just do not have any tiniest idea. I instantly beaten up.
I am sick when everybody asked how you doing, but somehow there was undeniable sparks that lighted up every time I heard your name or anything related to you, and only you. How am I supposed to ignore you when I knew you were always there? Why it had to be you that being oh-so different? You and your words. Could we, like, talk and set things up? no more guessing? anyhow, can you feel I am calling your name?
I probably need to end this up
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

John Doe is Missing

I was so dope thinking about holiday.
and I'm gonna go. Bye

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Me and Zara had fun being pointless in a day. We annoyed people around with blitzes from the camera. We had been brainwashed by the Final Destination movie. We got no point at all.
Just Do-nuts, Cappuccino, Tissues, and Bill.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

You Are Red.

I put my head phone up
with all the rhythm and beats
and I am ready to take part
in your one enchanted life

let me in, let me in
today are perfect to begin
let me in, let me in
don't leave me hanging on another spin

I am having trouble sleeping
cause you just kept me thinking
your smile prevents from any lie
which simply makes me fly

let me in, let me in
and we will go with the wind
let me in, let me in
yeah, you are my sweetest sin

Oh please, set me at ease
spare me, let's have some feast
hey, hey, just finished what you've started
it's just the same like I've wanted
to stay together.

{Pssst, I saw you in red, and by the way that's mad
Ah, you are just the perfect wet, on a blazing Sunday bet}
A piece by : Fiya Muiz

Life Might Just Imitate Art.

I do not really keen on talking topics that very happening nowadays, but there is nothing wrong to give it a try. First of all before I actually start anything, I want to say I am very extremely sleepy. I should be in bed, again, but here I am. I should off to bed, I am so sleepy. Erm, I have not get the courage for mentioning any swears here, even though my tongue or technically my finger, were crazy to write it down.

One ordinary afternoon, I hang low and watched dvd, the air conditioner was slightly cold makes me want to blend with the blanket. Suddenly, my bed began to shake, I thought there was some spiritual being tried to disturb me. I straightly went outside, where my brother played his Nintendo. he still laying on the sofa, then asked "Was it an earthquake?" I was wrong then. It was not a ghost or any spiritual being. For the record, I currently stay in apartment, on 21st floor to be exact. High one, eh? So try to put your self in my shoe, the early shake was medium one, I still figuring our was I in drunk attact or it was an actual earthquake. Okay, within 5 seconds my nerve got that. It was an honest earthquake. I striked by a natural disaster in 21st floor high apartment. Oh-god-this-an-earthquake became to OH-MY-GOD-EARTHQUAKE! the vibrate getting stronger, just like you were on a vehicle on theme park. but I am on my apartment for heaven's sake. The building was exactly moving right to left. Moving guys. Yes, Moving. Move. Moved. Do not ask me what I was thinking at that time, I thought about everything, literally. Future. This. That. God. That bassist. and you maybe. it was deadly scary. I shouted for my dad. IT WAS A GRACE my dad's around. Should I run? Should I fly? Should I stay?
WHAT SHOULD I DO? the biggest question ever. I panicked, again, literally. I held my brother and dad's hands. Tightly than ever I could held anybody's hands. astagfirullah. astagfirullah. those 60 seconds feeling was absolutely terryfiying. Never been on a crime scene before, and once it's enough. I just wish it stopped.. which it was in another 5 seconds. Anyway 5 seconds feels like two hours. I am running out of words. I am speechless.
My heart beat somehow faster than when I was about to meet my crush. Maybe way worst.
when it end, I still have to manage my self for stop shaking. it was scary. scary and scary.
to be honest, it caused me some sort of trauma. Picture yourself when you are on twenty first floor.
Okay the point is, God has the mercy. If you could still read this, god give you another chance to live. Don't waste it. We are very lucky.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz

Because I Know, I Would Not.

I let the machine loading but it wont move, when you read this prolougue it means I do not have direction where thin one gonna go. When I got things roughly travels in my head I turned on the loudest song, but when I concsious I turn it down. Currently text messaging with my friend, but the keypad were so uncomfortable, but still usable so I held my thought for buying another phone. Eh, I have not tell you, My O2 phone, Austin, has recovered from it's illness. I could send message again, finally. but I ran out of token, or credits, or pulsa. I had the first time ever, 0 rupiah. And it was cool.
Having less sleep everyday been unavoidable habit. not a good one, I will stay awake without any special reason. and get sleep or fell asleep in not-a-right-time. I slept in class earlier today, thus, it felt so good. I could not barely opened my eyes in the morning, my hand had the duty for keeping my head up. I was extremely sleepy.
In a week there must be either one day or two, I did not go to school because of the lateness. Ah, somehow it runs in my blood. Just like now, it is nearly mid night and I have not check whether there is or no homework, this is what I do. Hate it? screw you.
Mmmh, Social interact has cost difference interpretation. when I put an update this or that, someone may caught it wrong and started a fire. That is why I got sick of social site. In any kind. I was not looking for any trouble but somebody got it wrong. I hate feeling guilty, even though it might be was not my fault or what ever. I just hate any conflict. better to stay out. of. it. I do understand, judgement could come up in a second or minute, it does apply to me too. That is why I said, being fair is not easy. It may looked easy, but Lord, it is hard.
I have not seen few faces this couple of weeks. Just been around school. I miss few faces, honestly. I pour some water in to my glass, and I reminded to someone. Someone I would like to see, but in the matter of fact, I am alright not seeing him. and my dad was not on his right mood for letting me go home late because of a over-the-top conversation. a definite mood charger.
Shoot, I need that. I am not in a good mood for MJ's sake. Gah, monthly probs for girls. I shut my mouth and gone then. Au revoir.

yahhhh trick.
Christoferisaddictive, and he says hi
A piece by : Fiya Muiz


Johnny Knoxville Pictures, Images and Photos

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo September!

meet Johnny Knoxville. He's a jack ass. probably I would think twice to marry him, because.. he's a jack ass.
but how in the world I could deny his... presence.
He has the courage for doing dangerous thing that, maybe, every parents hate. LOL
He is bad, but drop dead cool. by the mean of drop dead, yes, drop. dead. I have no idea which side should I be. Girls do loves bad guy, though :p
anyhow, just meet him, he is a hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot jerk.

Haha Dumbass Pictures, Images and Photos
A piece by : Fiya Muiz