It's easy when it comes to remembering how Charlie made me feel. As if I had him mapped in my brain, right there, in one tiny corner next to Adolescent Avenue. I would take a quick detour from the Present and take a little peek as a pay of visit down the Memory Lane. Not that I am planning to stay, or to re-live the Past, but remembering the way Charlie made me feel is always comforting.
It reminds me that I was once capable on loving someone wholeheartedly, almost crossing the line of stupidity and it was okay, it was great because he felt like home. And I can still remember like it happened yesterday even though it was over five years ago. He was the pinnacle of what I thought as the ideal to love someone. Exclusive, kind, honest and real; it was unconditional. Thus, I often find myself looking up to how I loved him, and thinking to give up what I have in the Present just because it happen or feels different.
It takes a while to understand if anything happen differently, it does not always mean that it is less special, that it worth less. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, there are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice - that we will always love differently. It may take three days, or three hours instead of three months of consecutive meetings. That person may be a mutual friends or a complete stranger you meet at the bar. The feeling may grow after the unexpected little kiss at after-work drinks not after the first or second date shy kiss.
At the end of the day, this is not even about Charlie, or an ideal way to love someone. This is about realising there are many kind of ways to fall in love. It is never going to be the same. Love can be as easy as turning your head. Love can be hard, happen so gradually until the shell breaks after several hundreds of meetings. Love can grow after a ten minute conversation over a cigarette, or love can be a worth of years knowing each other bad habit. It can happen in any kind of way.
Don't limit yourself when it comes to love. Just jump in.
Don't limit yourself when it comes to love. Just jump in.
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