Baby, I Was Made to Break Your Heart


Oh, bless you, he said with half moon smile just as I told him his performance was amazing. And I never felt so blessed. I did not make that up, of course. The part where his band was amazing. His band was genuinely smashed the night at the Auction House where the usual local gigs was held. It was not the first time I saw him perform, after being introduced through a friend months ago, I had been going to see the band for several times now, reliving the old days when I barely sixteen and nerdy.
Their soulful funk-slash-contemporary-reggae music might have been off the track of the usual music I listened to, but there was something about them as a band that put everyone in an inevitable spell. Zac, the vocalist with sun-coloured wavy curl hair with thin well-shaved beard, was the one I had a conversation with ten Saturdays ago. He was the charming one. His look reminded me of Australian surfer down under that live life as it happen. Except, he was English and in a band.
Funny that I used to joke with Marjorie, could not help being all girly, about which of the band members that we were attracted to the most.
He's too blonde for my taste, I told Marjorie without taking my eyes off of the stage.
Oh, it doesn't matter to me, she replied cheekily. I really like the vocalist.
With that, we settled that she would go for the vocalist and I would go for the dark haired, bearded bassist as we laughed ourselves into the night
They used to stick around after their performance for a beer or two. I often saw them smoking cigarette, looking so normal yet my eyes would believe they glow amongst others as if they had halo circling above their heads. Zac often threw very friendly smiles when he passed by. He has that with him at all times, as if it was his best accessory. It was, it definitely was. While I had zero interaction with anybody else in the band, unless eye contact counted.
Our recognition of each other stood still between two seconds greeting and the stage until three weeks ago. They had another gig at the Auction House after a very long hiatus. If anything, their music made me strangely, you know, happy.
When they got off the stage, I stood still with a pint beer on the side of the room with Marjorie still clapping and whistling. A little while after, Zac came over and said hello. Surprised, his voice sounded as beautiful as he was on stage. And he finally he cleared up our anonymity and asked for my name.
I did not know where Marjorie gone to, but I got into the conversation with Zac that I thought would not have lasted longer than ten seconds. Ten minutes in, still with the loud music on the background, my knees started to feel weak and butterflies kicked in. The preference I thought I stood for disappeared. Of course, I have heard rumors about him. How many hearts he had break over the short span of intense fling, as it became really clear to me as he got all that he needed to do so. But for the whole conversation with occasional hit on the arms, his words and looks, I did not mind for him to break my heart.
I leaned closer to his ear, it's getting very crowded here. Do you want to go for a cigarette?
He looked at me instantly and replied with a smile, Yes, sure. Let's go outside.

I could hear my heart is about to break from two blocks away in the future.





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