Grey

Katerina just finished working at one small coffee shop around the corner where she lived. On her way home, which only took seven minutes walk even with her small steps, she thought that her life was different. She was walking the usual route, a straight path next to a cemetery that looked rather agonizing than full of horror. The tombstone carved gracefully, only the wilted flowers from the loved ones and the faded color claimed its gloom.

She felt she had lost touch to whatever that kept her alive, the sugar to the tea. She wished she could have known what was missing, but everything happened so gradually she barely noticed her fingers stopped typing, her lips rested flat instead pulling the half-moon shape smile and her eyes lost its flicker.

She did not know what happened - she could only guess in the dark. If the world was an ocean, she must have been the coral reef that eroded every time the waves hit. Although her steps were not heavy, but the hollow grew stronger. She was just there. Walking, and nothing else.

She felt the world had gotten into her. The thirst of validation from others crept down her sleeve, she was no longer live for herself but through others. It was a terrifying circle; now, she felt her self-worth defined by validation of others as she constantly seek for attention, living with the customed standard. And when it was deemed to be non-existent, even in the slightest bit, she devoured to the ground, at the lowest.

Suddenly, she had the urge to smoke. Smoking was good distraction. Her hand reached out down her Turkish-patterned sling bag, but she remembered she did not have the pack of cigarette with her. She kept it hidden on her bedside drawer. For emergency only, she thought once. She felt agitated more than ever.

She was less than fifty steps away from her front yard, but she felt like it was the longest, darkest and tiresome walk she ever had. She knew she had to get out of there soon before she faded, grey.