The Past

Antologi Rasa

Jadi, kesempatan gue jalan-jalan di toko buku Gramedia hari Jumat kemarin berhasil membuat gue untuk beli buku bahasa Indonesia setelah sekian lama. Judulnya Antologi Rasa dari Ika Natassa. Ada beberapa alasan kenapa gue beli buku ini. Yang pertama pasti cover dan judulnya. Dalam sembilan belas tahun hidup gue sebagai orang Indonesia, gue baru tau apa artinya antologi; kumpulan atau koleksi, kata google.  Covernya dong, gambar jantung yang bertuliskan emotions yang dirasain sama semua manusia normal, dapet banget. Yang kedua, template buku ini bagus. Dari font-nya sampe penulisan sinopsis. Disini yang paling krusial dalam menentukan beli bukunya apa nggak (selain harga juga sih), sinopsis. Gue personally suka buku yang berceritakan sesuatu yang bisa gue relate dengan kehidupan gue. Jadi, tentang tiga sahabat, satu cewek dan dua cowok, yang kesangkut sama ribetnya perasaan. Monyet emang. Tapi bagus. Pas deh semuanya. Diantara buku-buku lain yang ada, ini yang paling menarik hati.

Nggak tau abis jalan-jalan dari planet mana, tapi dulu gue selalu berfikir novel Indonesia itu hanya tok berbahasa Indonesia. Tapi di buku Antologi rasa, ada campuran bahasa Inggrisnya. Dan somehow, itu impress gue sebagai seseorang yang lebih familiar dengan bahasa Inggris. Mungkin bahasa Inggris udah nge-brain wash otak gue secara berlebihan dan mengapus kepercayaan gue pada bahasa Indonesia. Maaf, bukannya mau sok Inggris atau gimana, tapi beneran. Default setting otak rasanya udah gitu adanya.

Balik lagi ke Antologi Rasa, buat penggemar fiksi sih bisa gue jamin bakal suka sama novel ini. Ika bisa banget ngebawa ceritanya dengan bahasa semi-formal dan tetap menarik buat dibaca. Ceritanya manusiawi sekali gitu, tanpa harus nutup-nutupin sesuatu yang biasanya nggak wajar diantara konservatif, close-minded dan tradisionalnya pemikiran kultur Indonesia. Ditambah lagi dengan konsep susahnya man and woman being just friends. Ada aja pasti campur tangan ketertarikan satu sama lain yang jatuhnya, sebenernya biologis -- dari tuhan itu asalnya. Gak bisa di pungkiri juga. Belum lagi, resemblance antara gue dan isi buku ini, seperti kutipan  favorit gue dari David Foster Wallace yang This is Water. Pernah gue post kok beberapa bulan lalu artikelnya di blog ini. This definitely one of my favorite book in Indonesian.

Dengan latar belakang obsesi sebagai penulis, gue bangga dan seneng bisa baca novel ini. Bangga sekali kalau dunia literatur (dan musik) Indonesia masih hidup dengan potensi-potensi yang nggak kalah sama penulis atau musisi non-domestik. Seselesainya baca buku ini dalam semalam saja, gue langsung berinisiatif untuk merekomendasikan buku ini ke yang lainnya. Jadi, kalo lagi butuh bacaan buku bahasa Indonesia yang fiksi, beli ya. Pinjem sama yang udah punya juga boleh, nanti juga pasti pengen beli sendiri ujung-ujungnya.

Happy reading, love.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Every Time.

I picture you sitting quietly by the corner of the room; Your eyes... I can tell, you are judging bits of soul before you with those pair of dark chocolate eyes. Then you smiled. I do not know whether that is a genuine smile or you made that up for the sake of my well being; but hey, that is one hell of a smile.

And that is it.
I am done missing on my own.
So, when I think about you, I want you to think of me too.

Every time.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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The Hardest Part

It is never easy to begin something. I think, the hardest part of everything is simply lies in the beginning. To begin. To start. To make a move. Other time speding on planning, assuming, thinking are nothing compare to the actual act. The living proof, the walking evidence.

Just like this entry, failure come and by over my shoulder. Delete, and re-write again till my eyes and thoughts get sore. Often I gave up, and I think I am about to this time. If it is not because the messy sleeping hours, I should have been in my bed, busy dreaming.

If, I stay silent and stare in to nothing, this hands might just type something about you. You, the easiest, the happiest subjects among all. You, that I have not speak for quite a while. How are you doing? How's the essay? I hope you are doing fine. I apologies for not making any effort to say hi although I know you are one text message away.

I think we are doing much better than we were. Remember the last time we spoke? You were as great as the last time we said goodbye in my apartement's parking lot nearly one year ago. Eventhough we are half the world away, living two different lives in two distinct countries which basically competing against one and another, we are never better.

We are never better.

Aren't we suppose to feel great? At least I do. I feel great because I have spent a really long while worrying about nothing but you. As if it was my obligation to acknowledge you. Whilst, we are never bound to anything but good friends.

And about the reason why I am not making any effort to contact you is just because I no longer posses the burning eagerness I used to have long time ago. The undeniable tension to acknowlegde you -- it disappear somewhere along with the youth I had in me.

As far as I am concern here, I am not moving on, but I am letting go; and it feels damn good.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I'm Flesh and Bones, I'm a Rolling Stone.

Almost every time I tried to get a hold of myself, I always ended up failing. And I come around nearly a little while after. I was not sure as well, whether I have gathered myself or I was just making that up. I did not know, whether I was fooling myself or it was real;

I was my worst enemy.

And nothing was ever felt right.

Only the feeling of coming home never felt so much better.


Love, I can't decide. I have too many things clouding up my mind. It is hard to differ everything from where I stand. I am as good as broken string. I am as pathetic as Hollywood sad romantic movies. I am indesicive as ever.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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May the 4th Be With You Part II

I think I am currently live in the era of confusion, big time. Hence, instead I am blabbering about what's making sense and not, here I have a couple good noise to listen. 


A Real Hero - College

Carry on - Fun.


happy listening x
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Are You Listening?

I miss you, and I'm just going to miss you.
I'm just going to think about you, like I always do.
And think.
And think hard, until you might listen.
I miss you.
I really, really miss you.


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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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