Sous Le Ciel de Angleterre

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April been quite nice to me, though things did not show much of difference than the previous month or year, the urge to post new entry somehow abandoned due to the lack of variety of idea in mind. I have been busy with books and papers. And it may sound weird, but their usual habit pushing me off to the edge of hatred, had quietly gone. I think I have started a good relationship towards those books and papers. Nonetheless, the major thing I aimed for never left my mind nor my room. Painted in blue, red and white colors, it never missed to cheer me up during the most bore hour when battling with words to remember.
This just a brief post before the exams which going to be held tomorrow. Your blessing would be lovely.
I'll see you soon!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Invictus

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Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

by William Ernest Henley

Beauty appear in various kind of forms. And this morning, I coincidentally found one beautiful poem. Invictus. Through the pronunciation itself already tells you there is something about it. As if the word breathe in the life on your eagerness to look out what it means. Invictus means undefeated or unconquerable. This is my favorite line, "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Oh dear lord, my blood goes tremble.
Aside this poem was written by one of British legendary, William Ernest Henley, this also known as the inspiration for Nelson Mandela to stand up from the struggle he suffered during his sentence in prison till it brought him up to be the president of South Africa and abolished the racism throughout the country. Some of his action fighting against the racism has been adapted into a movie called Invictus played by Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon. Go spare your time to watch it by the weekend, double inspiration. xx

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I Hang You Up and then I Pull You Down.

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Hey April. Today is such a good day for writing. You should see the sky up out there. The cloud shaped exactly like on the drawing book; clear white as it shows a contrast against the soft blue sky. Though the summer heat is slightly too much, it is still pretty. Unfortunately I have to abandon the earth-friendly rules as I can't stand the heat, then turning on the air conditioner during mid-day instead of saving electricity. #boo. So I came home early, catching up All Time Low's new single, "I Feel Like Dancing" which already available on iTunes , go get them tigers. They are getting more pop-punk. Speaking of All Time Low, there is a friend of my other friend, whom I got introduced through facebook and did not seem to remember me anyway, has the same music taste like I do. Not being stereotype or such, I find it quite rare and entertaining finding someone who listen exactly the same artists like you do. Well, almost 98,9%, I am familiar with mostly every artists that he put up on his tumblr or twitter. He's a big fan of ATL and I just found out yesterday, we have the same favorite song from Mcfly. I mean, who listens to McFly? probably one out of fifteen. It is just cool to know your double-ganger on music scene.
Anyway, I have been waiting for April somehow. In less than two weeks I am going to face my final exam. My anxiety towards thee, made me lost ounce of sleep. Both in good and worried way. You know the feeling you have when you just hardly can wait for it to come to an end and you are finally going to feel free like the air.
The line pretty much sum up everything.
Aside from the sun, I have set up plans. Lots of it. Ready to launch right after mid of April. I hate to be the spoiler of few, but I am going to tell you as if you'd care, as soon I have got the confirmation.
Meanwhile, keep your feet on the ground and finger cross! See you soon.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Don't Panic, It's Just Vegetable.

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There is something very popular among teenagers in Indonesia nowadays, specially in Jakarta. It is something called "galau". I have tried to search it on google translate what is galau in English, it is pretty much similar with hubbub.
Very often people would call you such if you are being quiet, staring to the empty space without seemingly thinking. Hubbub most likely caused by the rough lane of romance. Whether you are in a broken heart phase or currently in trouble relating to the fellow crush. Although, hubbub is not limited only for things that related with heart (ew) just most of the statistic based on my private observation tells almost 97,5% technically tied with love (double ew). In broad definition, it is the situation where you have something in mind and directly/indirectly you show it to the public eyes. Within my conscious, galau is something that you hardly avoid. It can happen anywhere and anytime. And this is why it can be slightly dangerous; it may affect the society a huge pain in the ass. Everyone, who technically cares about you, will ask the same old question, "Are you okay?" "What happened?" and the easiest answer would be, "No, I'm okay." "Nothing happened." while deep down on both sides, each would say "What the @#$%. You're lying" "@#$% you, Can't you see I am not @#$%ing okay?!"
Shit as it sound, I have been on both sides. In the time when I am being the suspect, I do not want to hear any of my friends advice nor cheer. I just want to be in the valley of sobs and tears, there remembering the memories I can't repeat. Then when I slightly recovered, an hour or few days later, it is time for my friend that going through the valley, I was like cheering them as if I was the best cheerleader ever but they just won't listen. It pisses me off because I do not want to see my friend all sad and broken. but again, the cycle has to continue.
So far, there is no drugstore in the entire world sold the anti-galau medicine. It is still currently, cure-less. All we can do is wait and cope and endure.

Do me a favor, when you are hubbub, please remember to get up and go to the highest peak of the mountain and touch the sky or sun if you like, soon enough. Don't stay where you are before too long. It's depressing.

Chillax, I'm going to use it on myself. I'll try. Good luck for all of those teenagers out there! May god bless you and keep you out of galauness. xx

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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We Can Live Like Jack and Sally, If We Want.

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It's funny how things changed and I barely remember when and how it happened. It's funny I can't even laugh. Just like the wasted ashes from the burnt cigarette, I flew separately, to the different place I could not recall how I ended up here. I might make a list called 3W or "What Went Wrong" list. I can go on and on questioning why I stopped talking with the people I usually talked with for hours, everyday, before the sunrise or during the happy hour. Then again, why I quit updating my fashion blog and my facebook updates with pictures. If there is one thing that's not changing, it must be the growing habit of me, inconsistently failing on keeping this blog update.
For some people, the method on blaming something or someone may decrease the grief that suffocate the brain to stay in good sense. But on this case, there is nothing to point a finger to. In the most rational way of thinking, I have to admit the existence of nature's law, where things just happens as it is. Maybe at the point where it changed, I was too busy concentrating not to be drown inside the pool of disappointment then I got carried away and I started to claim things okay which in the same time I was trying to build the new foundation of something that had been broken. You know, the new routine. Aside from the loss of the previous missing details. Because when one's out, I just automatically got out from the circle and try to make a new one.
Then people just have deal with it. Though I am truly missing the moment I used to had with whoever I have been close in every way, I just have to deal what's in front of me now. Still, it is not like everything changed. There are things that are meant to stay. Like you, maybe. Reading this somewhere only you know.


This week recommendation would be Yellowcard's new album called When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes.
Among the preview songs on youtube, this goes my favorite, Hang You Up. Buy their CD or else you'd be hanging under the palm tree of regret. Cheerios

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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It's Much More Than It Seems.

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It feels good just to sit here and wander off between photos on facebook. The siren for reading formulas on the book is temporarily turned off during the weekend. The exam will continue on Monday. Roughly I have at least two days to let my muscle brain off duty. Earlier today during my exam, I had thirty minutes spare time before I have to submit my work, I chose not to sleep and I decided to write. I was not allowed to bring any paper, so I wrote between the question on the question sheet.
Yesterday, on random occurrence, I sat beside a friend of mine. We talked. But then she started to talk about someone who I have not seen for a while but never left my mind. Honestly, I would like to take every possible chances to avoid such a topic but it was too late to invade further discussion. In anyway, somehow I have no right to fear anything related to this person. It has been a very lot while ago. So yes, I have heard he's happy due to an obvious form of progress of something from someone. Well, while here, the situation did not change though before or after these couple of months. I like that person, and that person like somebody else. Yes, I get that clearly. But there was a part of me that withered every time I got remembered. That is why I hate being remembered. It pushed me to where I asked myself, "What should I do to make him changed his mind?"
I know it sounded sad and desperate. It sounded even more awful when sad and desperate put in one line. They should have not be together. What worse than that was, I know the situation and I still helplessly stay silent, not even an inch of moving forward or anywhere. I can't and I just won't.
And somehow, every time I have tried to look around, I'm just too afraid, afraid that what had happen, or happening is going to end up in repetition.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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It's Nothing but Too Little to Miss.

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if there is one video that could make me stay up all night and write, this would be the one:

I found this video a couple hours ago, and I just could not left this laptop alone although I have to wake up very early tomorrow and my eyes were getting weary as the hours brought me somewhere nearly midnight. I could not find the sensible ideas why the voice I have heard through the web based visual audio able to attract me in such a way. In a way where common hands and thoughts were not able to reach.

While motivation books bores me (sometimes) this person so far have not failed to inspire me doing anything related to words. I just need to repeat three or five times then I am armored. After I watched the video, I came up with a page full of scenario for the upcoming future play.

If John Mayer asks, "Why, Georgia, Why" I'd ask, "Why, Dika, Why"

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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