The Past

Away From The Sun

The remaining space of the place irritates me. Most of the time I gave up easily because I had nothing that strong enough to held on or maybe nothing strong enough to keep me going on. It was just a simple blog post that I should have to keep up. The eagerness was there, but my wants wasn't good enough. These fingers mainly controlled by my impulsive mind which able to lost the appetite within a blink of an eye. Labile like teenagers.
Screw. It.

I could hear the obvious difference when my door room was opened. And that's irritating.
I couldn't get myself really into writing because my shirt somehow smelled something familiar.
I couldn't express the way my mind spinning thousands of round because of... because of...
Do you know that I always trying to have excuses for bailing on this?

I didn't feel like I was good enough to write. To spell. To arrange a simple or compound sentence. Or to explain what I did. What I hate or love about today.
The tasty French Fries I had for my self.
Pizza that almost choke me.
Another farewell a friend of mine that I had to face.
Tears that shouldn't be produced.
Highly selfish annoying angkot that caused traffic.
Or a tiny words I should have not said.

I wasn't a perfectionist at all. The level of ignorance I had was way incomparable with perfectionist's. I just demand things too high for my self. And sometimes I found things were not suitable enough for me. When I thought about what's dominating my mind, I denied and chose not to write because... because I know it would turn out to be very cheesy. Simple things irritates me.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Pronto

The cutest thing about meeting new people is that I could always have the first impression of them. New people teach me new kind of personalities. And the more interesting the person could be the more proud observed them.
There was nothing on his appearance telling the difference that he has inside. His height was typically average, his black hair driven up to the direction the way he kept mending it. Oh, maybe his eyes. His eyes were shouting for sleep. Black circle surrounded each of his eyes but it doesn’t make his stare less vicious. Not in the bad way. Again, he speaks fine, as his story supports his eyes perfectly. I was able to see that as soon his eyes looking at me. And his story, man, his story was one of a kind. I know the story as such existed in this life but I never heard it straight in to my ears. Long story short, his talent on doing things in life absolutely present, like there, he tells everything as if he doesn’t have any fear at all. Literally meaning. I won’t say that I would go for him about everything because sometimes what he did mostly was impulsive. Despite that fierce courage that he owns, the way he dealt with relationship was quite mature. I mean, he consider things, you know.
Me, signing out.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Grammar Would Be My Weakness Aside From You

I'm bored.
Is it still the era for lying instead of admit things?

I thought those things might help me to finished the sentence but I severely failed on it. Lots of tabs I opened and seek for a second opinion or stupid thought I would go for but I couldn't see it. Either the clouds were getting pretty sad by turning gray or the sun just too tired to make an appearance. The choices are all mine, but within a second of impulsive thought, it went blind. It feels good to be right. Like the whole universe, even Jupiter, supports you from space.
The philosophy about everything are very blur. But the same point as we have to embrace the opposite things.
For the sake of knowing hurt, you must have fall first.
Just for or the sake of knowing the difference.
I wouldn't know how good it feels when I was right right if I was never wrong in my life.
The basic always sounds right even sometimes I couldn't help it.
I have to sacrifice math for loving English better and let Math to held the burden of hatred. Or hating school and loving holiday. Or having the thoughts of a vampire; the other way to read Edward Cullen is, perfect. In a way when the fire burn the rotten woods easily I would like to kill the idea of Edward Cullen. The existence of the character of Edward only increasing the pain of reality for not having the perfect image of a person that you would die, or spend the rest of forever with. (or maybe there is, but I just haven't seen it yet).
Too much wants getting people no where. Focusing on one thing is more recommended. But still,
once you are a human, you will live with too much wants.
It's good to have a point when you were writing something because without it there wouldn't be a path to keep it straight and went well. I didn't get along well with that though, most of the time I post an entry I don't have any idea what to write or even what words should I begin with. But the art of spontaneous most of the time always on my side, maybe because I believe on the theory. Just kept writing and your fingers will come up with something. Although it took one hour first to get there. But you know... You'll get there.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Take It Easy

I see dust covered on the mickey mouse lamp beside me but I touched it anyway. I shouldn't touch it because it's dirty but I touched it anyway. Since when I go by the rule?
Tonight was quite, cheer that I used to bring on every Saturday night lost between the stars. I guess the weekdays were too tight I can't even breathe so I don't find Saturday night appealing enough to stole my attention from this PC.
I've been staring at it almost half day.
If life could be as pretty as the carousel include the laugh of joy, I wouldn't need to make promise to my self to do certain stuff where I ended up failing on. Time flies even faster than those green flies, too fast for me to fit in everything needs to be on board.
And my problem being a good procrastinator.
Big problem.
I've tried to make every single decision of mine worth it. Like this post for example, I want for the eyes that read this, get something from this but myself can hardly see it. If I tell something here personal I don't think your eyes would care, right?
But then again, since when I go by the rule?
I don't know is this a right thing to be embrace on or not. I don't have time to judge. I hate judging.
There are lots of stuff I would like to tell. And elaborate. But my mood is not in the right position, I'll warn you to stay away from my mood because sometimes it bites. Like a vampire ;)

I went to see old faces yesterday, those faces I haven't seen for a year. I don't think name needed here, I avoid the chance of not being equal and all. Because if I missed a name, you might hate me a little. Too many people I met. They're good people. I would always remember monas that way.

I read the the catcher in the rye, it was a good book, trust me. I used to like those fairy tale never touch the ground kind of book but as I get here, a life experience book looks more compelling.
This was a story about a young man 17 year old flunked out from his third high school and on his way to maturity and facing his parents about the news. It was simple but the way J.D Salinger. Few murderer find it inspirational in a way,
but chill I'm not going to murder anyone, beside mosquitoes. You should read it by yourself. Then you'll understand what I'm saying.

I watched Despicable Me. it was HILARIOUS hilarious. I like the story, I mean stealing a moon, WHO WOULD EVER THOUGHT OF THAT?

Hm... what else... I like to put some space between the things I would like to tell you know, just for the sake of your entertaiment. Too full paragraphs might hurt your eyes to boringness. I just made new word that actually not even existed in the real English life. Boringness.
I shall end this soon, someone is waiting for his dinner, I shouldn't keep him waiting. The dogs already howl, it's late night. Not a starry night. Not like in Bali. I should go back to Bali. Ok. I should end.
Talk to you soon, bloggy.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Rainbow and The Cloud

Fiction is made out of facts.
and this is a little touch of the fiction.

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Dear John,
I would be a big fat liar if I didn't miss your presence around.
If a rainbow has three colors, mine only have got two colors out of it.
Red and yellow.
The green still missing. and I've waited for it to come back home, soon.
And you have to know that a rainbow wouldn't be a rainbow without the green.
Incomplete.
Rainbow couldn't able to see the star during day because stars appeared at night.
Two different time and moments. And rainbow's love is only for the cloud, since the only thing the rainbow could see was the cloud.
On children's drawing, you could see the rainbow firmly stood by the cloud at the end of each sides.
Guess what, rainbow couldn't know how much the star would like to switch position with the clouds.

Do you see my self as a star, and you as the rainbow?
I miss you like me missing the sun on a rainy day.
Some time appart couldn't pushed me away. Not at all.
I miss you like you miss her.
I miss you even you didn't miss me.
The point is, I miss you damn much. That's it.


xx,
F.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Good Luck For Shooting the Moon

My intention to sleep was killed since my intention to write was slightly higher. I hate the fact when I was practically entirely sleepy but I can't sleep due one or two reasons. It was all because my eyes able to hear anything what my mind said, they both were like a wolf pack. Like when Jacob could hear Sam's thoughts.
My mind was up to something.
I even don't know what something means. Or I refuse to know what something means.
The hours of my day were sinking into a lot more shorter span you know. Not in literally meaning, it's just the way indonesian government decide to put 17 year old student to be in school from 6.30 a.m until 3 p.m starts from monday to friday.
5 days a week.
I couldn't really feel my self, or my body after school. It feels like I just had the time for sleep then by the time I woke up, I have to be back at school.
And at school, I will always constantly sleepy without no reasonable reason. Or the only thing I would be glad about is the recess and I have the chance to read a book of a friend of mine, called "The Catcher In the Rye". One kind of helluva entertaining book.
I didn't sleep late the other night.
Tired. Tired even to write a blog. So blog, you are lucky I'm still keeping up with you. Even sometimes I couldn't get the chance to keep things up with my friends.
I'm going to talk to you later, about the book and all. I can't do this if I'm not in the right mood.
I suddenly lost it.

xx

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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All The Little Details

I'll tell ya if smoking is healthy I would go for a business like such. I would be rich within a month ha. But I if I sell cigars, I'm helping the statistics average of lungs cancer higher. Which might lead to disfunctional growth of the country, right?
Indonesia had enough feud, I believe. But hey, I got something to recover any blemish Indonesia ever made.
You know what we have and no one else could ever copied?
Bali.

Nothing beats bali for the tropical beach and of course, weather.
You wouldn't get enough of Bali. Never.
I could go back 3 times in a row WITHOUT getting bored. (but I never did that due to further concern)
I went to Bali last week which saved me from the teenager life crisis of boredom.
You'll find everything; anything in Bali.

Peace: Check
Hot surfers: Check
Life: Check
Good food: Check
Good stuff (by all meaning good quality and low price): Check
Nice and VERY welcome atmosphere: Check
Afordable hotel: Check
Beach: TRIPLE CHECK
Unique culture: Check
Sunset view: Check

Dude, what else you need?

I kinda postpone this entry because I was waiting for the cable data for transferring the photos from my camera that I took while I was there. BUT, I can't find it anywhere near. So......... as the subtitute I googled some, and there it goes.
Catch up with you later

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Hot Like Mexico, Rejoice.

She wasted her spare time hiding under the blanket. The day was fine to do anything, although her yard was quite wet caused by the quick rain earlier that day. She was looking for her mood under the blanket, but then she gave up and stayed.
Nothing compelling under it, but somethin was running along side her mind. She reminded to the conversation she had the other night. A conversation where it should be normal and steady but turned out to be something fresh like flesh and blood. her thought went like this:
"There was a guy told me about the land I've never been on. A land far away. An intense land. I shouldn't be there within a couple year but his story was very compelling. He was so upfront without even choosing proper words to use. His rudeness made him stood out. The language was rough and strange. I've heard it a lot but I rarely use it. I heard the land was filthy but enjoyable. The land sounds like my guilty pleasure. I have to talk to him and re-living the conversation we had. It was too real."
Soon after she tried to look around the spot where she might find him. She did find him. He was there, in calm sense sitting on the bench staring at the empty sky, pointless town. But you know what, she stood there, wrapped with fear to say hi. Her fear beat her down instantly, she chose not to discuss her guilty pleasure and went away. Keep wondering. Alone.
A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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"I Was In Love With The Idea of Love"

Days of runny nose and bad cough has finally ended and I could finally got my life right back on my grip right after I came back sober to the reality. I wasn't saying I left the reality, I just took a break for a little while although I can't escape, even a day on holiday, from several annoying thoughts of.. something. Despite the fuss,
Loving something overrated is lame. But I have the only one exception and can't deny to take part on the twilight saga madness.
As much as I hate something overrated, I've always love Edward Cullen since he showed up in to the surface of civilization.
Come on people, don't even deny his incisive persona and striking charm. He is too perfect.
a 'too' rhyme with 'perfect' create indestructible meaning of words.
Expecting to meet someone like him in the real life would be the least thing I believe in this world. No offense.

Back to the recent movie, Eclipse, I may have to say and proudly admit that this one is way better than new moon.
Screw them who judge this movie suck, for me it works five times better than the previous.
It's hard to define which one better if its compare to twilight - first movie always gave the best impression.
I have to come up with few statements:

Bella is a bitch.

My teeth clinched very hard when either Edward has to see Bella in Jacob's arm or Jacob has to see Edward kissing Bella passionately (maybe more to Bella is too agressive). She's killing them both. Could she be a little less selfish?
She's good on manipulating something. If you've watched it, there was a scene where Bella was in Jacob's garage and she said that she will turn in to vampire by the time she graduated from high school. THERE, Jacob should be the one who got angry the entire scene, since the girl he foolishly in love with, will turn to be his own enemy-kind, a vampire. But there, she got Jacob apologise -because he yelled on her some rough words which was make sense since he was pissed off -to her while she should be THE ONE who APOLOGIES. Did you see my point here? but then again, I might come up with this because I was too jealous of she has one drop dead good looking vampire and one hot abs werewolf.

Missing quotation.

Stepheny Meyer was good on exaggerating words you know. To make it sounds more.. tragic. I had two quotation I loved and it didn't show on the movie. I've discuss it on my post back on February 2009 where the first time I finished reading Eclipse.

Falling in love with vampires equal sacrifising a life for them. Sacred swear to keep their secrets and all. But their strength blinded the odds and somehow make a willing to be changed.
I don't know. It's just a movie, isn't it?

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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What If Sally Can't Wait?

I miss you.
I miss you.
And you know I miss you.
Although I didn't spend a lot of spare time with you, I still miss you.
The fact that I can't feel your presence anytime soon kills me.
Kills my mood to stay blossom.
Everybody knows that you're coming back soon, someday. But am I the only one who aggitated considering that you're gone too long?
Even before you're coming back I know that there would be another upcoming goodbye later on the upcoming month.
It sucks like your favorite football team lose before the semi final on the world cup. Maybe something more than that.
I miss you. Even the chance for you to miss me is strictly low,
I still miss you.
I miss you with no intention. I miss you even so I would like to stop.
The way your scent suddenly greet my nose and I can't guess whether my nose or my mind making that up. or.. that's just because I really miss you.
Songs started to reminds me to you. I started to feel like shit and it doesn't mean good. I wanted to swear out loud.
And another thing who interupt me that I've been trying to write an entry here and after four times total failing to make my hand type something- because I had no idea to write anything- when I tried to write something about you, my hands were instantly keep writing the whole page, willingly, barely wants to stop.
See? I suck.

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A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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