scapegoatingwohoo

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So its almost midday on first day of the week, howdy monday - I got up very early today. I was powerless to stand up from the bed, the sky still dark it makes me more eager to stay in bed. My eyes were heavy - probably red -I slept 2 am but 5 past something I had to get up.

Still in anyway I got late to school. What I have to blame to? My driver the lift or doors or tv or what? I don't want to scape goating on someone, beacuse if I do so it makes me one of the phsycological disorder which means no good. I don't really give a *@#? if I have to stay right under the sun in the middle of humongus field for couple minutes, because I know I did make mistake. Don't even care.... But when you have option to go back home, continuing mybeauty sleep, it all so tempting.
But as I consider my duty-slash-torture or whatever, I waited for the gate to opened. Okay I don't care I don't care...........
I am looking forward to wrapping my so called short novel - I'll see you soon$$$$

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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remoteeeah

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there are where the part when you started not to care about something because you're tired enough to have in mind.
it sort of brought me to tears if I reminded of that. things that you wouldn't need to know - it's pointless anyway.
its 1 am now, as usual i wont go to sleep yet even Monday's already calling out.
I'm done with my assignment since 11 clock, there are... 3 of it. 2 biology essays and 1 i have to make15 questions about physics.
I'm not really sure what would I write I just want to write something.
okay, I got a picture

it looked like me and my chinese friend about to robbed the supermarket.
this picture was taken by my other chinese friends, el. at sogo supermarket citos last Thursday.

I tried to put my biology essay here, but....I do not understand why it wouldn't work.
what's next... i've been craving for fooooood a lot of times which is good but still i can not balance my sleep at all. I got terrible habits.
so less consciousnes uh.
Hm, things might look different in each of everyones eyes, how I see my world might not be right for peoples around, I know how I have care less about stuff. errrrrrrrrrrrr, It's getting late anyway, gtg

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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iheartweekend!

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I got more in love with holiday or weekends. i guess nothing, i emphasized, NOTHING could destroy my feelings for it lol

my long weekend was awesome, i went out of town, more to west from jakarta, it's called bandung.

it's been a while I have not goint there. it only took around 2 or 3 hours top by car - from jakarta.

so, i went there right after from aninda's birthday party (it's midday - which we called 'nyabut rumput' at citos lol)

it was a blast actually its another on my i-love-list. rofl with my friends

from left to right: emil, noy, el, way, zarjul, me, aninda

yeah, then i went straight to bandung, i can't write all of my agenda while i was there, but one thing, it was freaking fun.
i stayed at sheraton hotel.

back yard like it was ours

oh, i love for the breakfast, xoxo. it served sushi, pancake, eggs, poridge, etc.
then traditional dinner, on local restaurants, with my big big lovely family.

we discovered bandung - and most important, shopping.
fitting room ;p

theres a market, sells secondhand stuff with cheap cheap sweet price.
i bought a lot of clothes lol
move to the next round, factory outlet, sidewalks food; delicious!
and do you know how much i hate ending for every awesome holiday? countless!

anyway, clocks ticking so yeah, back to sweaty hot jakarta sucks.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I said one, two, three

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I skip gym class today because I currently paying no attention to anything. I forgot to bring gym suit lol
Aninda's going to have a party tomorrow but the fact that this was long weekend, my family also arranging a trip. So there might be a chance that I couldn't come. And I hate to miss something.
Oh there was something I would like to write here couple seconds ago, but now I already forgot.
That's what has been going on with me lately, forgetting things.
Oooooooooooh, I hate hate and hate when I have to chose over stuff I like.
But I know I have to keep the positive side of me open, I just read an article about positive mind blablabla.
So plan for this weekend are..... Going out of town and ignoring the air of dust around the hectic city.
Need something calm and soothing despites midnight talks on 24 hours cafe. Something must be different.....
Errrr, I don't want to end this yet but I have to go back studying. Sounds lame I know
Anyway, see you sooonnnnnn!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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What's the point being a vampire?

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oh, I'm working on back with my novel, currently writing and abandoned everything lol
what what what
I miss few people in my life, I don't like being lost contact, it sucks.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Walk in the sun

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"I wonder what it's like to be loved by you
I wonder what its like to be home
And I don't walk when there's a stone in my shoe
All I know, that in time I'll be fine

I wonder what it's like to fly so high
Or to breathe under the sea
I wonder if someday I'll be good with goodbyes
But I'll be okay if you come along with me

Such a long, long way to go
Where I'm going I don't know
I'm just following the road
For a walk in the sun
For a walk in the sun

I wonder how they put a man on the moon
I wonder what it's like up there
I wonder if you'll ever sing this tune
All I know is the answer's in the air

Such a long, long way to go
Where I'm going I don't know
I'm just following the road
For a walk in the sun
For a walk in the sun

Sitting and watching the world going by
Is it true when we die we go up to the sky?
Woah, woah
So many things that I don't understand
Burnt my feet in the sand when I'm walking in the sun
Woah
Walking in the sun

Such a long, long way to go
Where I'm going I don't know
I'm just following the road
For a walk in the sun
For a walk in the sun, "

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Revenge is not good, kid.

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as I have been planned, I want revenge for this weekend, it was structurly fine.

here it goes my saturday, but there are few part that I am not going to put here, something that might not be best for public, eventhough I know its already public secrets around my friends. okay, next.

There was a tempting place that I know from a friend of mine, everything sounds fascinating.

Since the morning the weather was so fresh, I love to know that it was Saturday, so I got off from home around 7pm, first destination was my friends cafe, called Happy Jack,

Description: Nice.

its hard for me to explain, it dominated white, blue and red. just like british flag which is i like it.

the atmosphere was quite comfortable, familiar faces also filled up the area.

Based on my friend experience, you can go home with full tummy just 15.000 rupiah.

1 humongus ice tea and a hamburger.

me myself have not order anything yet, because yesterday i was kind of in a hurry, yeah so after i check out the cafe, done the bussiness i should have to do, then off to Fx, senayan,
Me, Rara, Betary and Dilut were totally have no direction inside we were just hanging around like idiots,

we admitted that we were mentally drunk, because we're all in stressed phase. hehe

I couldn't tell the reason why, I told you it not see best on public.

as my dad pick me up, I found out that I'm gonna stay at my granparents' which is around kemang, then I begged my dad for drop me off at Mcd, because my friend, Arief and Icun, would stop by there,

okay, thanks god my dad allow me, i need to murder the time on weekend.

Oh, what a coinsidence, I met my long-time-ago-folks (I've wrote about them previously, on December), Riza and Ilham,

Yeah, I kind of missed them both, the last time we've met was last year hehe and Riza has been busy with his gf lately hahahahahahahahahah kidding

okay, we chatted for a while, but I know, well we know, its already late they have go back home (while I was just arrived. How bad I was :P)

then goodbyes,

I joined Arief and Icun, we talked about something that always made me smile like a lunatic.

As it turns to midnight, as the matter of fact I'm not a vampire that needs beauty sleep, so Ii decided to go back home.

and my saturday ended. it was quite good.

I'm gonna wait for another weekend!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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fill in the night

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this picture was taken by my mate, Andra. she's getting pro with photography this time around haha.

Labs project - March 09.

I'm in the middle, and on my left, she's Arky, okay its only her leg shown and the one with short pants is Zara.

we were actually enjoying soulvibe, but I dont remember or know any of the lyrics so.. yeah.

On my right, she's Andra. this picture was taken by.. i forgot. at Darmint's Cafe while CATB is about to perform
I have extremely awesome friends. They are drop dead precious.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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the end of friday

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I have ended my friday, its quite tiring, school was pointless today,
but its fun to wasting my break time for browsing - my class has new hot spot! wicked
and native lesson always taught me something
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
oh my josh, I was so excited about weekend.
hey my uncle just post photos from our last singapore's trip
red is awesome
there was actually loads of stuff I would like to tell but, yeah,
I want to go, see you sooooon!
..with another story

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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engage

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Oh well its friday morning and I can't help to defeat this.. Wildness.
I don't hear any words others saying - how ignorant.
I don't know where I want to go or want, not at home, not at school.
I want Edward... I miss him.
Oh I'm hungry, mates. I don't have any breakfast, because I don't want to.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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pinokio, pinokio!

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I want to sleep but my eyes refuse to, so any advice what should I do?
there were actually pictures, but somethings wrong with my freaking phone,
this is not the only problem, my friend called me earlier and I cant hear any voice.
this phone's driving me crazy.
Oh, I sleep late tonight.
no specific reason, I have consider not to sleep actually.
I can not wait for my revenge this weekend.
Revenge for all the suffocate air circulating around me,
its okay for re charge and gasping for clean air.
Excuse moi,
it get my self thinking, why I should do something that I actually not enjoy?
I am so glad that I had....... I do not know. I told you about
We can do whatever we wants,
so yeah, I have reducing my forcing-act.
I do what I want :)
I was confused by myself, why people making things complicated? tell me whats the point
why should I care?
oh freak.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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save-end-tin

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I know what's worst, it head ache.
so if there's anything else worst than that, tell me.
seeing my little brother growing up (read:in love) was actually sucks.
It was so obvious that I could see clearly, he started to having fun with his cellphone all the time.
I never realized how the atmosphere change while you are feeling something.
He acting weird as alien, really.
Are you boys doing that all along? or its just me suspecting my brother too much
I laughed out freaking loud, it was so cut and odd in the same time.
true, I got jealous in some way.

if you know my subject really means I gave you thumb up,
let it be a package of memories, uh.
someone who i was care about will not be easy to disappear.
I know it will, but it took times.

thinking about several things... were not really satisfying.
it got easier to having fun with girls only (doesnt guarantee more fun - cat fight does happens - all depends, right?), rather than with boys. sometimes I just dont get them.
I've been repeating Thanks for coming song by Hopes Die Last almost 17th time, or so.
sleeptime

so long, see you soon

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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how sad

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He was in Sydney, and I'm in Jakarta.

I wish I could be there, looking at him live sweating gorgeous.

he was not my fugitive, he came on the 1st place before the others.

And you know what, I can do whatever I want

I'm going bye

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I'll go crazy with no reason

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The cold was hidden beneath the wool. Taste of unnamed feeling was stronger than the weather.
Early Sunday I headed to the east, the upper mountain, I told my parents several times that I missed something green, as in the trees and the wild.
So yeah, I got that. I’m glad. The cloud was like just meters above your head, another jump you could reach it and taste it as cotton candy.
Trees was independently standing, conquer the dust.
Sun reflect the colors of beautiful butterflies looking for breakfast on astonished flowers.
Still something wrong with my self, I felt a bit lifeless for today.
Not particularly in the mood for anything, hm.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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i hope it ends where it began

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early morning
I was running as fastest as I could, I'm giving up all my energy to ended the seconds that I had, slightly less.
Sun striking bright last morning, I had my drowned therapy, on the swimming pool.
in some way it was good. being underwater feeling the everything pushes you down, pressure was getting high, but on the same time it was lost. lost in hundreds litter of water.
it makes you obsessed with air above your head, all the sudden things are packed in your mind. it feel sick in a minute, but when you breathe again, everything was different.
just different.


night
filled up. glad I'm having my Saturday out. it reminds me to... where I used to go.
fine, fine, everything is fine.
depends what you will post tonight, I was blinded by the rainbow flashing lights
too many common faces, some are good and some are bad.
Oh I met, my elementary school friend, I miss her so bad.
nothing is necessary to tell, like usual.
I'm living my eventful life

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Much or many

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I know its kind of late, but Happy Birthday to my dearest Danny Jones. (March 12)
4 words: I miss you, mate! :)


I dont want this sound emo but yeah I feel suffocated.
You know exams is on the radar. I feel terrible. for my self by only having slightly changes. I should be more... excited about this but why, dammit, why I'm still me that extremely lazy.
I need air to breathe in and out, I feel good besides Chemistry and Math. I need to go to school for heaven sakes lol
anything besides that were..... good enough. fine. alright. I'm just living my seconds always with my thoughts, and it getting stronger you know, if I thinking about something, it grows deeper. it kind of hard to explain.
I want to finished my novel fraking sooooooooon. but hard hard hard. I even not finished reading breaking dawn yet. oh joshie.
there are two words that I tried to understand recently. First is wait. and second, hope.
and... oh, its already midnight.
I have to go

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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hey love.

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I ended up coloring this page instead of writing,
when it comes to you, yes, you
I couldn't decide which was the right words to represent first.
I only see you through photographs,
there always certain current right when I saw you.
I have not found it yet,
I have not invent gracious word that could explain the comments I made.
those fingertips I wish I could hold,
feeling secure.
or looking what you've hold,
inspire me to do more..
posing mind,
my wishes are you to hear me,
when my heart calling out your name in every beat.
disbelief how world would become so unfair..



I'm not lost, I'm just have not arrive yet.
even I don't have something to hold on.
but I believe, rushing through my vein, that it will come.
Which I probably met on the cross road or the end of high way
don't worry, I'll get there
I'll meet you face to face
when your arms cuddle my bones,
when my heart collapse,
I feel my victory.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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for as long as I could

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I decided to write early in the morning because I guess I cant write tonight.
This morning was good, I love the sky when it still clear light blue, makes you want to jump and stay there for a while.
Last night I slept around 2.30 am, I read Breaking Dawn, because I was really busy lately, and I did not get a chance to read it.
I have to get back to my world in a minute, so 60 seconds left


I love him for as long as I could.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Is Piranha A Fish?

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There is nothing essential to tell. I just want to write something.
I found Dashboard Confessional again in my ipod, I love to hear it. I found new spot for writing, in my room, in my bed. The view was just straight to the sky, now, I could see differences between the clouds and I could predict when the rain would fall, the clouds changing. also moving.
it does sounds lame, but I needed for my imagination.
full filled my story is not really a smooth way, inspiration did not came all along.
I've been browsing for dresses around the websites,
in one way, I have believe in my self. I CAN DO IT!
you probably don't get what I am talking about, but I know. hehehehheheeheh
soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ta-ta for now!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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When the moon fell in love with the sun

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how would it end?

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I'm getting sick how people acts nowadays

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another saturday night I spent at home, cuddling with paper and books, oh and laptop and food.
hmmmm, such a peaceful day.
this was long weekend, not figuring out what to do.
HBO showed great movies today, I watched Catch and Release, The Atronouts Wife, and Persuit of Happiness.
I got conlusion that Johnny Depp was striking hot in every scene as arrogant person.
and Jenifer Garner was so sweet.
and Will Smith, marvelous! true story movies were always touchy. nothing starts from Up, always from down.
Another part of my day, I wrote few pages for my story. what has been on my mind.
I enjoyed it very much.
I tried to be less selfish.
I made a poets yesterday but I can't put it here.
let it be a secrets
ofcourse for my mystery sunday! lol
its getting late, and I got more sleepy every seconds, I'd better go to sleep, and welcoming tomorrow's sun on the first line!
byebye

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I would like to scream

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S.O.S please someone help me.
I was like riding on jet coaster
up and down.
it WOULD NEVER STAY CONSTANT.
heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee driving me all the way. crrrrrrrrazy
I don't know when will I stop.
I will never conscious and awake and get up if he's still exist.

help
help
help

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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subjects confuses me.

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I wrote very briefly because sometimes I felt like I don't want to stay in this space for too long, I just hate how this world going on. it pissed me off sometimes. but I'm the one who choosing to join those kind of social websites, so... whatever. (and pms would be the extended causes)
the whole cyber-space here seems so pointless, but needed.
There was actually something I would like to say but I don't know.
I don't know what to say or how to say, I just would like to.
So, yes.
what.
I'm feeling fine here, very fine.

it was no blur. the photoshop done it well. I decided.
A relief.
There are few things I'm not ready to do in this current time.
I don't have any special reason.
I cant see it, but I can feel it.

if world asking, hey world, I'm fine. I hope everyone are fine. we all fine.

I'm moving forward.
I live for future.


Love takes no pleasure in people's sins. but delight in the truth.
-a walk to remember-

HAIL, SHANE WEST!


world is not only about love, don't being too much, there are a lot of other things to consider. but however love controls most of it.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Collin's

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I made new story, I hope i'll finished it soon.
I already made the end, but I haven't decide what to start. tough tough tough

all I want to know now is writing. that's all.
a bitter relief.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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