I'm Not Going To California

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Even though Christmas almost here, no humiliating woolen deer sweater needed. Temperatue was undeniably hot. Literally HOT. Living in tropical island has the chance for getting sun burnt highly - D'oh. and getting bored by only two seasons in year. You can get summer almost half year long congratulations for summer lovers. But hey, I can survive through all the weather complainment.
I'm on my Christmas holiday. It came when I started to enjoy school. Not part the so-called-effective learning class. But the folks there. I mean, holiday would feels a whole lot better when you have a plan. Plan for something to do. Unfortunately, I don't have one. No travels outside/inside country. Just stays in town. Extremely pointless.
To be honest I was not pissed off like I used to. I just have to find something entertaining through the days. Dude, I'm on it! .....
Sorry for the lack of posting, it still because the same old reason. Just doing some undeveloped repetition. Either because I'm just too busy brainstorming useless thoughts, or my fingers just too slow to type and I got bored before it done, or I've lost my vocabulary to create one match paragraphs. It's just strolling around there.
Days were absolutely fine these past times. Once I had a day out with my international class and it was hell of a fun day. Quoted from a friend of mine "Even don't have a time to opened twitter because we are so occupied"
Zombieland looked even more cool when we watched it with a bunch of friends.
And then Festival Kemang, an annual event, that almost every year I attend. The good part of this Festival was, when I got home I always have different stories every year. Last year this, and this year that. Couldn't pick the best, it's just thrilling.

..Now I need to be more creative to came up with various entry.
2010 almost here. Wow.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Miserable At Best

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I don't like to go with the fact that I couldn't keep up to write blog every day.
Tonight most of the lamps were off, I am the only one who left awake in the room. Else were sleeping under the blanket, cuddling with their dreams. Me myself sitting in front of the pc, guarded by the city of angels movie.
I don't have the desire to sleep just yet.
Here's the story, I was lying on my long red couch, I took one from four pillow there. And I smelled something that build my passion to write even more.
I know I have something to write,
and it always refers to that in these past couple of days, it was burning like a bonfire. It got awfully defined when I could not express it to few words or sentences. Frustrates me.
but in the same time I know I could not write freely here cause there might several eyes read and spread. I'm not ready yet. The boundaries were always there. And that's what restrained me for keep flooding the post.
I could not write things that actually I'm dying to mentioned. To discuss.
My tummy hurts. My eyes were heavy. My thought about his scent was deliriously addictive.
I would to get rid of it, but I could not.
Right now it might lead somewhere I should not reach. Limits are there, exist.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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With All Due Respect,

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In every movie (specially romance -red) I always found some phrases that I could took home, those was my favorite piece in a movie. At the time when you could feel it through your vein and air suffocates you from breathing.

"Sparks? You're looking for sparks? If you're looking for sparks, it might intended to create fire, and then it might burned yourself. That's hurt. That's love"

Credits: Accidental Husband.

Pictures taken: @ Barcode, Nacil's birthday party. December 12th.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Writers Teach Their Thoughts To Misbehave

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All the pressure for feeling all the feelings that could have existed giving me a certain rush. I probably require a decent meditation for healing my abstract mood. I wonder most of the time I write an entry would anybody struggling with words like I do? Oftenly I pressed backspace every time this line added more words and piled to sentences, I feel wrong. although there is no such boundaries that tied how my entry should be. But at the end when I feel right, it taste like you have won the latest war. Oddly enough I don't really like to write on a separate paragraph, it's just makes some gap between the line, even so it might best to be done for preventing any misdirection in reading but I don't like it but seems like I have to do it too. Okay, move to the next paragraph.
I have been sitting here almost all day doing pointless thing until I randomly found an interesting blog of someone I know. Some of her post, very intimidate me. The way she writes all the unfamiliar words kind of amazed me, somehow I already knew she loves to write. Deep down I feel like a challenge to beat her. No offense, but I like this kind of vibe that the blog gave me -- I have to write. I want to write.
Another new built paragraph: Day has entered twilight, where the sun was on its perfect round shape with strong orange color. I am still here, write non-sense post. All my thoughts were spread around the room. On my phone background image, where there was a figure stole my attention recent days, reminds me a lot to his scent mixture of burnt cigars that has been my favorite.
It was nothing. Seriously nothing. I was not ready to get involve deeper with him than just a simple praise in this paragraph. He should stay it. In this line.
And then the thought of my marks in school that was not quite astounding and it's getting me worried because I always expect astounded one. Or maybe something wrong with my expectation, Ah please spare me!
I had enough.



xx

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Tonight Is A Good Night.

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Not a single trip could top what I just had in the last five days. In spite of that, yes sure, there was few imaginations in mind what would this trip going to be. But as soon it happened, voila. Being in someone's else country with your friends it was hell a lot of fun. The part what's going on along the road was indescribably fun. To mention one by one could have just make me more hate the fact that it already ended. The whole madness going on when we were on the shopping center, a lot of jaw drop of amazement on every scenery at the universities we have visited, the screams and all the laugh on the hotel corridor, the loud hotel room accident, the sleepy bus paparazzi photos. Those was just remarkably wonderful. Countless.

Feeling so occupied these past five days, way beyond expectation, but that just how things work. Vacation made to be beautiful because you have reality awaits. That was the only sucks part on the board. So Singapore trip ended so fast. and Reality awaits

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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108 Farenheit

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I JUST WATCHED NEW MOON.

(exaggeration allowed)

It seems like yesterday I just watched twilight, and starting to have my precious guilty pleasure by seeing those unrealistic vampires. And secretly obsessed to be one of them in every tease. But it wasn't a secret anymore because I was clearly putting here, litteraly.

Honestly, I was not kind of the big fans of Robert Pattinson. I'd be more to Edward Cullen fans. which someway they ARE related. That was not the point, I just do not want people gets me wrong, when Twilight getting overrated, honestly I'm getting sick of it. But back again to my statement about Edward, he's such a guilty pleasure. His jawbones and his eyebrows were pulled you inside deeper, way deeper in to his appeals.

I miss the vampires.

I kept wondering why make this such a good movie? Why I like them? Why would I watch until seven times? Why and Why.

Was that because nothing near reality? Or the biceps that Jacob has? Or How Edward has his special charm everytime he appears?

Those movie scenes and line were never leaving my head, it's just make me wanted more and more.

I'll tell you what, I was quite disappointed actually.. One scene I was DESPERATELY to watched was..... kissing scene Bella with Jacob. Okay, he touched her lips, but IT WASNT A KISSING SCENE PEOPLE. and THE WAY EDWARD PURPOSED, I MEAN WHAT THE HELL? it was sweet, hell sweet but it SHOULD BE EVEN SWEETER. got what I mean?
I could not keep my eyes off the screen, even a glimpse. Not even to grab any pop corn. The enthusiams was over the top.

It's good enough to attract me to see the movie again, again, again, again, again, again, and again.

Wanna come?

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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What's so special?

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“Things that I doubted when I’m with you”

The simple sentence could give the pain even harder than knife could hurt you. I watched a movie, called 500 days of summer. The movie taught me few things about reality that bite. Though it did not spreading any venom to your body, but it makes your heart accelerate and pumped your tears to flooding your smooth cheek.
The narrator did remind me since the beginning that it was not a love story.
I never believe in that. Movie just made for making the viewers burst in to various kinds of emotion. And the most make sense reason out of thousands of others, it is about love.
Love, love, love.
500 days of summer served the best food ever, just like burger king with it whooper junior. It consists of envious scenes of two undefined love birds, until it came to an end. The setting of the scenes was mixed up, between past and present. Stay focused or you might miss something, although you would not dare to leave the screen.
I love the ending for heaven’s sake,
It proved that not every Hollywood movie will end up happily ever after.
They lied. They made us forget what is on the reality.
And that also why I ran to my room and threw my self on the bed, started to sobbing quite hard.
It’s just… I was kind of expecting everything so romantically heaven, and I forgot, I oftenly forgot about the reality and I keep pushing my self over the limit of reality.
I forced things to happen in a way that sometimes hardly to be.
Wish I watched this movie earlier.
And here, I learned things already planned neatly from god. The way how you met your couple and it was not coincidence. But many times, you got it wrong and… just haven’t realized it was there all the time.

I am seventeen years old now. This also means, this blog already one year old long. sufficiently hearing my non sense sentences, pointless paragraphs and all the sweet/bitter facts. There was a day I was sinking by expectation, but then I learned not to.
To be honest I still could not believe that I am seventeen.
It was quite a big deal.
I have my own license.
Wow.


Have a good day, folks.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Pardon for The Exaggeration.

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What just happened, it showed the early step for stating something serious, something related with heart and a feeling. To determine everything, it needs time to absorb through the root then to the top of the plants. I have been eaten all the words that had been mentioned, the sweets and bitter facts singing along to my ears, goes straight down to the heart.

First, I keep my self a barrier to prevent any harm. But that only works on the first week of introduction. On the starting line, until there was a glimpse balloon of hope, asking to be held as the grip. Helplessly seeing he was there
It grew slowly but exactly sure, butterflies starting to fill head and also stomach. The strength was not that strong, it was steady. The presence was existed, it was there, trying so hard to ignore, to avoid, but days getting brighter and connected the dots.
At first, it was beautiful like the sun entering the day, but within one or thousands of reasons, it was ended no where, leaving one pounded heart with unaccepted feeling.
Lips were sealed to pursue the objection, considering letting go before anything gets deeper.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Say Hello

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Working my play on words was not easy, I had few failed attempt for creating of one pointless post. Somehow my wants to have something perfect quite impossible, and ended up nothing. I tried to learn from every selfishness in me, I'm on my way to reach the point of maturity. I'll be seventeen soon enough as clock never stop.
Seriously, I still remember when the first time I had my love at first sight, and how I hate my life when I was turning thirteen. And in two days I'll be seventeen, the number that has been most of the people favorite age.
I was extremely curious, what about seventeen. What's the specialty? What makes it different than any other number of ages? Questions were queing in a line, severals answered were collected but nothing sure.
What I see completely was the responsibility in your hand grew larger and harder. Controlling emotion was the difficult one, I oftenly got defeated by it. I feel shame. It only last like........ 3 minutes top. Then the peak of your fire-y emotion will cool down somehow.

Yep, I had a good night so I could make a pretty long paragraph. After had 11 hours sleep, I woke up morning and fresh. Even though I got late to school because my nerves haven't attached perfectly after the sleep, so I ran a bit slow, and voila. I was late.
then I did something that actually I realized the consequence but I still did that no matter how. I got ditched from Statistics class because I bought food, and late to get back in to the class - I missed breakfast earlier. Fine, my fault. but that was actually fun.
Another rain after school, but still okay. I had a good mood. Thank god for that. Usually rain just pushed you to be melancoly and sleepy. I'd rather go for a sunny day.

I was randomly told my dad that I can't wait for new moon, but it turned out that he asked me to go to the cinema and watch 2012. And another voila, I watched 2012.
It was insane. Good movie though. John Cussak looking sharp as old times.
Another good part of the night was I heard The Ingredients on the radio, it was super.
Kind of missed their voices.
Looking forward to catch up with them soon enough.

Tomorrow is Friday.

I suppose to be at school at 6.30 am. And that is why I was about to say Good night.
Good night, Baltimore kid:)

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Too Much.

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I like him. A lot.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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half past one a.m & awake

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sun almost bring up monday back and took my weekend away. if days could understand how lovely weekends trully are.
want to know something? I haven't done my task. I simply repel school. oh wait, I'm exaggerating things up.
It was not that bad, it's just... something obviously better and more fun compare with, uh, school.

I thought writing about a theory was a lot better than writes what happened in a day. I don't think anybody would care with someone else's day. and what's going on in it. not if you are a role model for someone.
see? I blabbered a lot.
Excuse me.

Saturday has finally arrived, I went on with the plans that had been schedule since two days before. It started with a plain routines. Sun could not be more hot, it was way hotter than Gerrard Butler's beard. More than Ryan Reynolds' abs. More than John Callaghar's jawbones. More than Sykes' hair. More than Barakat's eyebrows.
As day went late, there was a match that need to be seen. A baseball match. Outdoor field. But the best part of that day was Blues Festival.
There were four stage. Green, Red, Black and Blue.
My favorite was Blue stage. Er, wait, I forgot. It was Blue if I'm not mistaken.
Istora Senayan has confessed an awesome blues festivals.
A lot of foreigners, which made my guilty pleasure complete.
I enjoyed watch musician performed live.
I feel belong.
with all the guitars and bass. Loud drums. and A well done vocals. it was just epic.
Best performance goes to Endah n Rhesa. Damn, I could feel the heat. Romance heat. and it was painful. Believe me ;)
it ends one hour before midnight

.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I'm in Love.

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meet Jack.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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when I need light can you give me one?

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when I need light can you give me one?

So I pulled up the curtain, Letting the limited light coming in, though it almost dusk. When my finger weren't here pushing the keyboard, My mind was screaming out loud to put my idea here. But when I re-thinking what was I thinking lately, I simply forgot. I don't know why. I ask my self what's on my mind. I forgot. Does that mean I.. did not think about anything? No, it can't be. I'm just running my self out of the track. Trying to.. do something else.
I kept playing the same song endlessly. No harm intended so, just my ears became subjective.
I just repel any drums, I just want to hear the guitar. and a voice. Singing one beautiful song dedicated for someone, dearest one. So I can hear the vocalist sing from his heart. That's the song I've been listening these past two days.
I am afraid to type something leads the thought to a clarity that public should not know, something about heart and a feeling. I know why sometimes people doesn't want to have a feeling. Yes, that would be the easiest complain for immature person. I was not judging anybody, to be honest though, sometimes I feel that quite strong. And I was no telling the crowd that I am mature. No, I'm still on my way.
I roughly waited for my cell phone to rang, any phone call from someone that I want.
I'll tell you what, you might be the one I want to call me or text me.
I was not trying to sound desperate, cause that's just sad.
I'm just waiting for the text I haven't received since a while ago. I feel I want to throw away my phone beyond reachable areas. I know I know, I just caught on the moment.
and I feel immature about that. Why should I wait?
Maybe if that was not meant to be, it must have a reason. Right?
Enough about the cell phone. I'm on my progress figuring things out. You know, how a day would be a perfect one without something perfect.
or changing something deeply ordinary to be a uber one.
Yes, what a point of view matter on this one. Yes, I'm being a joke.
I'll call it an afternoon.
I'm hungry.
I'll call your name soon.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Azthazagoraphobia

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At the first place I should be here, but too many distractions ahead. It's half past one a.m I am still care to be awake. The streets too, I can still hear the sounds of friction between car's tires and the road from my porch. they'll never stop making noises, loudest or even a whisper.



Hey I am still here, it's 3 am.
My phone kind of stay in the silent, was not what I expected though. but, the nights almost over, do you think I still care to wait? it's November. Uber excited. I Love you.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Icedrunk

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I have no idea what would I say when someone asking me a question what would I be, Minnie Mouse or Daisy duck. So we might just skip the question instead. There is no reason by mentioning what I had mentioned above, I just want to show you what pointless means. Yes, I've been hanging around with pointless stuff recently. Yesterday I went out with Zara, the planned was we were supposed to meet 2 others friends of ours, but because one or more excuse, they could not come, but thank you Hanna, Theo and Andri were there. But okay, it was pointless, Three of them had to do something else, and then just left me with Zara.
I swear we did not know what to do, so guess what, we ended up travels on a joy, to different restaurants
Cold Stone ice cream, Es Teler 77, and last the muffin house.
We annoyed people by taking pointless pictures with endless blitz.
Yes, we are annoying when we got Camera on our hand.
See? it's plainly pointless. Shockingly was it may sound, I had fun!
Photos and the talks were fabulous.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Seasons Are Changing

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Hello, heart ache, I am coming back to this inglourious lonely blog, because finally I have something to type.
Please do not hate my fingers for being lazy these past weeks, my life was doing good but nothing necessary to tell. Since I was back to routines after last holiday, Things just cycling around school, home and few lunch-movies.

There are three movies I recommended crowds to watch

1. Inglorious Bastards
2. White Out
3. The Ugly Truth

The latest one I watched was The Inglorious Bastards, when I got out the cinema I had this thought "Now for 16 years of my life, it was quite hard to decide which one is my favorite movie." It could be 5 in number one, and 5 on number 2. KILL ALL THE NAZIS!
For White Out I gave 3 stars out of 6. It was a good movie, wrapped in a simple story.
and The Ugly truth was a perfect movie for all those romance-eyes-lovers, though they used quite rough and dirty words (obviously 17+ movie) it still a entertaining movie. I could not stop punching my friend beside me when I watched the movie, I always adore romantic movies, the way a guy confess their love to the woman they love. Maan, Hands up.

Then, I just had a field trip with my whole 2011 SMA N 8 peeps, it was helluva fun. Spend three days two nights there, and practically we were just having fun with chocolate toast bread. The Paddy field was dammit awesome, the breeze were cool, the sun was hot.
There was a time when I hate being back to routines, many people said, a reality. beside we were bored to death dealing with all the sucks in it, it's just... boring. So tasikmalaya was quite fun for a school days get away. believe me, I had fun what ever I did there. :)




au revoir, lads. Good night, fire flies.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Starts with B

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BUSY

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The Seeker.

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Two songs has faded away, and not a sentence I could scratch here. My pocket running out of story, I do not have any story to be published. I just want to be here, I want to write words without a story.
I was avoiding to use "My" word, it sounded so selfish like you owned everything. And I don't really kind of a big fan for anything related it. Though I'm not a big fan for my self because on recent days I could felt... weird.
A time when,
you do not know what exactly you want, and it create this silent fear, could be the sign for a weakness down bellow. Rational and feel told the reverse way, denied but it makes even tangled and locked. Maybe something has to be done, but the limited faith got it all destroyed by a tiny distraction. Been mentioning long narration for a humid goals nor aim, but constantly coming back to failure, such as love.

I got mistaken hear the eggs to ex. Breeze to bridge. Maybe quite has not suit at all, it has passed quite. It is weird.
Please don't mind if I speak like an alien. I told you this was not a story.
This was everything and anything could frankly mourning thoughts in my mind.

The heaps being blessedly in town hadn't come back yet. Sky was dark even though it still count as a mid day, nearly afternoon. Rain often came not in the right moment, this weather just support me for being all fooled gloomy which I do not necessary need it. Third October was fine.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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I'll Turn It Off

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I'd buy a boat and a sack of food, then go sailing until my skin unrecognizable, until the wind stop taking me through out the ocean.
Alone with the sun and early morning bird.
looking for the nearest island when it gets rough, wait until it calm.
On my bare feet, I'd make a fire.
I'd burn the fish.
Drink coconut.
Smooth sand would be the sleeping pad.
...I am out of my mind.

I am quite an idiot for not moving by a slide nor a glimpse.


and he was pleaded guilty. for the ever I have wasted.
I stayed unnoticeable.

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Nothing Better for the Title

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He bite his nail, he stroked his messy yet attractive dark hair, wipe his face with a tissue when I noticed his irritated eyes. He looks even more good from side.
Last night I doubt a matter in particular reason, I kept asking, my emotion labile, and nothing seems rotate in a right way.
But I know one thing,
I could not ever ever ever denied that smile.

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I Get a Light From Everyone

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prologue: I am back. back to daily life. back doing school routine. back on weekend. back being a nonsense teenager. I am exhausted.
I suffered runny nose, sore throat and a ordinary lazy-to-move-around virus. I am quite surprise I made here to write a blog.
I have been missing to a wonderful journey.
I saw plenty of new things, things that rare to see in over populated city.
Living in capital city are a complete blind.
it makes you could not see all the imperfection of reality. You always wants more. Wants something way beyond unnecessary.



1.
Madura.
This is where my grand parents came from, so it might count as my home town.
Few families still stays here.
Madura is still under construction, few failed factory, no mall, just a small mini market.
When I went there, it was hard to find any sign of human activity, it was plain desolate.
Though the clouds always been pretty, beach is awesome, padi fields are everywhere, foods are tempting. but unfortunately my stomach could not handle the santan, so I got diarrhea on the very second day.

2.
Surabaya.
I enjoyed this city. the people are funny. I laughed a lot, really. their appearance were 'that' much. and probably it was the first time I went to mall with pair of flip flops. fashion crime woops.

3.
Bromo.
I did not get the chance to take a picture with my own camera at this place, maybe because my brain was frozen, so I couldnt think to use my camera. it was single degree temperature!
but this place is wicked, I saw blazing gorgeous sunrise, with hell of struggle. I went to a dessert, but it still cold no matter how. I used 5 layer of clothes. <3


4.
Jogja.
I love jogja. I'm just in love with the becak, Malioboro's stuff, bakpia.

I am running out of words to describe this trip, travels in a bus for more than a week. it was rad!
I love it I love it I love it more!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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The Guy With The Arab Strap

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ergh too many voices here. this might end up to be a lousy post. err..........so, hello there the angel from my nightmare, the shadow in the background of a morgue. whoops sorry.
I had fun this week and so freaking pumped for taking my ass off Jakarta. I'll be leaving town in... two more days. and will be back in... another ten days. see you soon peeps.
School's off for two or three weeks and it was fabulous, nothing more excited about school beside the holly holiday, am I right?
I spent most of my days recently outside the house, I took tons of pictures this week. one, I went to twestifal randomly. two, I went for bowling with my superb schoolmates, randomly. and it was heck of fun. my bowling game was not so bad at all, I got 4th rank. out of six. :p
three, I took a ride on a motorcycle with to them who called them selves sinargarut ROFL (i know you may laughs. they're insane but awesome) there were thirteen of us, but some was absent. the wind & crowd were cool. and so the evening was.
cheers.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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#15

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Past




Now

These are my elementary school folks, I have been with them for six years since 1999-2005. Since then we went separate ways, and last Thursday finally we had our small reunion which was trully awesome.
I miss them so much, and did not have any slightest idea it would be so much heaps.
Every childish memories we have been through were suddenly played back and we were screaming those were the best moments ever. Lots of laughs for sure. and stupid love stories were up on the surface, ex crush, teachers, enemy, ex bff, everything was there. and it was so sweet.
Elementary school was not daring like high school, but all the basic understanding to socialize, knowing things. first phase school. Stupid reactions nor action filled up.
Now we all grown up, well, almost counts as adults, and such a bless to remember fast times at ar-rahman motik:)

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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When Everything's Made To Be Broken

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for me, every holiday has a soundtrack. And I was so stoked for this ramadhan holiday. not quite where I am going to spend, but it closely enough to certitude.
grown ups should understand how complicated teenagers era like.
Living are included in impartial choosing. I was hang in the middle, because there was no such easy way to fully understood the circumstances. I have always tried to be in someone else's shoes, but it only gets me another view to make sense. Technically this case still able to handle by one head, but somehow human has this subjection to others advise. I wont be selfish, but when too many choices lie ahead, it might ended up, the selfishness it self. I know, I know, this has no point. Somehow it just coming back to back, but hey sometimes that's how life works.
one line got involved with thousands of other lines, then suddenly it got twisted to no where. Personal wants need to be diminished for a while, and living very social.
Mistakes somehow happened on purpose, though heart beat pounds frankly. The sour taste of orange juice suddenly lost it freshness. Now, tell me what should I do?
Responsibility stand when you are mature enough, but ignorance is blisssssssssssssssss. Weird.

ps: about the picture, you might have seen him somewhere around. His name is Douglas, but just call him Dougie for good. He's blessly british. and I miss him a lot. Through it all, he has been my all time lover. he's the right weirdo but undearably charming. since the first sight on him, he has grown up a lot, and it was wonderful. Just curious when god will let him meet me face to face.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Remembering Sunday

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It does not mean that I hate how my life goes now,
but I just have this hidden deep envy for all the bands touring life.
be on the road, with band members and crew. That's how life be more enchanted and adventurous, you know. Tasting new food, new vibe in each different city nor countries. those are very temptatious!

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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Your Nickname Secretly Included Inside This Post

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Maybe we met in the wrong time. Maybe we did something wrong in our past. Maybe since the first place, I should have not known you this far. Maybe I should quit since I presume. Maybe you are right. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe we missed understood. Maybe you think of me too. Maybe you are just a helpless loser. Maybe I hang my hopes too high. Maybe those stupid little cigarettes were fit on you. Maybe beer and alcohol were made for you. Maybe none of good things related with you and me. Maybe you made the best mistake for treat me too nice. Maybe I should not feel safe when I think of you. Maybe all the smiles I have spent does not worth a penny. Maybe the first hand shake was cursed. Maybe your blood has something to do with this. Maybe I should blame cupid. Maybe these butterfly suppose not to be here. Maybe these lovebirds got the wrong address. Maybe our age. Maybe your ex. Maybe your friends. Maybe your mind. Maybe my phone. Maybe because I currently still in high school. Maybe because I am small. Maybe the bass. Maybe the guitar. Maybe those foolish poems I should not dedicate it to you. Maybe I should erase your name on my contacts. Maybe my heart beat was biologically abnormal when I was about to meet you. Maybe your words that choked me up. Maybe those love songs are rubbish. Maybe I should not dare to assume that I am in love with you.

Just tell me do not give up. Stop giving me signals and other puzzle need to be solved, I want something clear.
I have been trying to stay out of you, but gravity keep pulling me towards your eyes. Hell I do not care if things got too obvious. Once in school I had thoughts of you which I could not resist. You should not make me feel better when I am at my worst. You just you rolling my mood in every direction. You do not know how scared I was for admitting anything further, you just do not have any tiniest idea. I instantly beaten up.
I am sick when everybody asked how you doing, but somehow there was undeniable sparks that lighted up every time I heard your name or anything related to you, and only you. How am I supposed to ignore you when I knew you were always there? Why it had to be you that being oh-so different? You and your words. Could we, like, talk and set things up? no more guessing? anyhow, can you feel I am calling your name?
I probably need to end this up

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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John Doe is Missing

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I was so dope thinking about holiday.
and I'm gonna go. Bye

Me and Zara had fun being pointless in a day. We annoyed people around with blitzes from the camera. We had been brainwashed by the Final Destination movie. We got no point at all.
Just Do-nuts, Cappuccino, Tissues, and Bill.

A piece by : Fiya Muiz
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